Busty lifts the lid on Kitcatt Nohr’s missing millions

busty idolAnother week, another round of fake news…only this time, it isn’t fake at all. That’s right, readers, a load of ex-Kitcatt Nohrers really are taking Publicis to court over, and I quote, “circumstances so appalling that Publicis’ own employees have subsequently reacted with embarrassment and guilt”.
What could possibly have gone wrong, you may ask…did Publicis put them in an office with a load of idiots? Was the coffee machine not up to their usual standards? Was the toilet constantly blocked? Did the other staff call them “jumped up junk mailers”?
Probably. But they rode through that like the DM troopers they are. No, dear Busty fans, this case is all about hard cash – or, should I say the lack of it – a cool £8.5m.
Now I must admit, I was a little taken aback by the news; the last time I saw the lovely Marc Nohr he was looking pretty pleased with himself – and rich. In fact, he even bought me and McKelvey lunch, and, as everyone knows, that doesn’t come cheap.
Then again, maybe that’s why he is now short of a bob or two.
Anyway, apparently there is no truth in the rumour that Phil Keevill is the real brains behind the legal action as he needs the money to pay for yet another guitar to add to his not inconsiderable collection, which at the last count included the Gibson SG, the Telecaster, the 335, the National Steel, the Martin, the two Rickenbackers, the Gretsch, the Macaferri, the Melody Maker, the Junior, the J45, the Music Man, the G&L ASAT, the PRS, the Tom Anderson, the Nik Huber…need I go on?
Our very own Sgt Peppers homage of the main Kitcatt Nohr claimants has drawn plenty of response, too. With Phil’s former partner in crime, Simon “the reverend” Kershaw, insinuating that my esteemed boss had spent all the “retouching budget” on lunch…again.
Calm me an old cynic, but when was the last time McKelvey bought anyone lunch?
Anyway, loved up Simon then revealed the secrets of his own retouching skills, which apparently include: “You do your usual spud printing. And it looks a bit shit. Get out the Tippex and some marker pens. Faff around for a bit. And… It looks better.”
Hmmm, and they wonder why Keevill Barton Kershaw went tits up…or was that fake news, too?

You can also follow Busty on Twitter @BustyIdol

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