A taste for bribery and corruption…what’s not to like?

foxy 414So, second week back from my extended break and I already have something new to write about. That’s correct, even I have had enough of recycling old columns, so there won’t be any of the classic Easter lines about “what’s not to like about a double four-day week with plenty of CHOCOLATE sandwiched in between?” Damn, I’ve already done it but you get my drift.
No, dear readers, this week is all about the new Creative Review column – featuring the Decision Marketing Adometer – which my esteemed editor has put me in charge of.
Don’t ask me why I have been given such responsibility, but I guess there is no other bugger to do it and this being “a double four-day week with plenty of CHOCOLATE sandwiched in between”, the powers that be have all disappeared. (You only have to whisper the word sweetmeat to McCawley and he’s off to the shops dribbling like a giant baby). Even Roxy has vanished. In fact, I haven’t heard a peep from her since she left the “office” on Tuesday afternoon gushing about “birthday spoons with Spooner”, the gorgeous, witty, brainy and übersexy proprietor of Spoon Creative Ltd. Lucky girl.
Anyway, back to me. So, here’s the premise of the Decision Marketing Adometer. I get to give my humble opinion on all the latest campaigns (well, if you’re lucky, a couple each week) and then get to give them the thumbs up or down. Even better, I don’t actually have to give a reason why they are good or bad – it’s all down to my personal taste.
And just in case you are wondering what gives me the right to cast judgment on all the blood, sweat and tears that goes into this stuff, it’s simple really. BECAUSE I CAN.
That’s not to say I am not open to bribery. I am sure I might have mentioned this before but, after all, it is double four-day week with plenty of CHOCOLATE sandwiched in between. The only problem is, I am still awaiting a good filling. I haven’t got any chocolate either.
Luckily, it is not too late for you agency folk to pop over to the Hotel Chocolat website and order me something nice, just in case I might one day be casting a critical eye over your work. So, how about an All in One Basket? A snip at just £100. Or if you are feeling the pinch, you could always opt for the Ostrich Easter Egg, at a bargain basement £80. (To be honest, anything is better than the 45p Milk Chocolate Bunny from Aldi that McKelvey has bought me.)
And maybe you should be asking yourselves, can you afford not to schmooze me? How the hell do you think certain agencies never end up in Campaign’s Turkey of the Week column then?

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