Ashes to cash in one easy step

Want to know how you get loads of followers on Twitter? Just ask Ashley Kerekes, from Massachusetts, who has inadvertently been bombarded with cricket nutters after calling herself @theashes. Her followers went up by 5,800 to 6,100 virtually overnight, and she has even been offered a free flight to Australia.
The 22-year-old said her boyfriend had been calling her “the ashes” for a long time, but neither could remember why he had given her this nickname. As if… Strange how she is now selling T-shirts carrying the slogan “I am not a freaking cricket match”, which at $19.90 could turn into a nice little money spinner (we’ve even worked it out for you: 5,800 x $19.90= shedloads of cash).
Mind you, maybe Kate Middleton’s parents could take a leaf out Kerekes’ book, after being battered in the press for daring to make money out of selling their customer data. According to an outraged Daily Mail, they have taken “£20,000 family holidays in the Caribbean and spent £780,000 in cash on a flat in Chelsea for Kate in 2002”. (Maybe the reporter who wrote the article should have done a little research into the list rental business first, then they would realise that the market is dead as a dodo.)
We’d like to suggest they start selling their own range of T-shirts with the slogan: “Oh shit, we’ve got to raise ten million bleedin’ quid for our daughter’s wedding to the future King, yet the press keep slagging us off. Any chance of a few bob?” That should do the trick…
Today would be the best time to launch it too, it being Manic Monday, the busiest online shopping day of the year as consumers get ready for Christmas (obviously if you are reading this later in the week, you’ve already missed the boat!).
According to a very insightful report on the BBC, “video games, gadgets and DVDs are amongst the most popular purchases”. (Really? Another contender for a No Shit Sherlock Award if I ever did see one.)
Anyway, if you are planning on doing a spot of Christmas shopping, don’t forget us at DecisionMarketing. All hampers and champers greatly received…

(Got anything you’re dying to get off your chest? Email me, discretion guaranteed! ivan.idol@hotmail.co.uk)

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