British Bake Off success gives Bill a happy ending

busty idolDoncha just love the Great British Bake Off? Well, 15 million viewers can’t be wrong can they? That’s nearly as many people who enjoy my weekly musings, so I am, of course, watching my back – I can’t have them taking attention away from little ol’ Busty.
Not that I’m averse to having some fun in the kitchen myself, you understand. Some of my happiest moments have been had bashing one out on the kitchen table and watching it rise.
But while the lipstick-loving Candice stole the limelight on the TV by creaming the title, Marketing Metrix’s boss Bill Portlock must also be proud as punch after his boffins successfully predicted yet another winner. Although it is said our Bill loves nothing more than a big slice of fruit cake, my sources tell me his actual preference is spotted dick – you see, you get all the insider knowledge here.
Mind you, there must have been a few squeaky bum moments in the Portlock household; after all, Jane and Andrew were supposed to be soggy bottom specialists from week one – and, if either had trumped Candice, it may not have been such a happy ending for Bill and his team.
Talking of happy endings, I’m also pleased to report that my esteemed boss did turn up in the end, so was able to put in his usual larger than life appearance at his eldest son’s wedding at the weekend. I even got an invite to the evening do, just in time to see my boss strutting his stuff on the dancefloor topless. Sloppy.
The last time his chest had an airing like that was back in the day in Cannes, when – so the story goes – he danced on stage with the lovely former FCB executive vice president for global branding and corporate affairs Stephen Martincic.
In fact, my spies tell me that Stephen’s onstage antics played a huge part in landing him the new job of chief brand and marketing officer at Ascential, the owner of Cannes Lions.
And why, you may ask is this significant? Well, of course, it means that the whole Decision Marketing team is likely to have ringside seats at Cannes Lions for the forseeable future.
Party on the beach anyone?

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