“Here we go, here we go, here we go…” Yep, you guessed it, I’m now in the full swing of the Euros. The sun is shining, I’m picking up a lovely tan, the England team are on fire and, following last week’s big plug for National Business Lunch Week, I’ve got a fistful of Bookatable freebies waiting for me when I get back.
Not that I’m suddenly a football expert, you understand, but there are certainly worse ways to spend an afternoon than watching 22 young men getting a sweat up.
Mind you, the England team are not exactly lookers are they? Couldn’t they just bring back David Beckham to give us something nice to look at? He can bend one in whenever he likes.
You might think that the Euros would give everyone’s favourite marketing expert – the London Business School’s Jacques de Cock – something to wax lyrical about but even he has gone very quiet on the subject. I haven’t had an email from him in weeks. Maybe de Cock has shot his load, as it were.
Still, next week is the big one. England v Slovakia on Monday, Cannes on Tuesday and Wednesday, the EU Referendum on Thursday, then back to Cannes on Friday for the agencies beach party shagathon.
I am going to be so busy, I doubt I will even get time for my regular visits to PornHub…or will I? Luckily help is at hand from their latest insights blog, The Long and Short of Porn Watching, which helpfully details which categories of video you need to watch if time is, er, tight.
Apparently, if you are a girl in a rush, the categories which are de rigueur are “handjob”, “male solo” and “college”. If you’ve got more time on your hands, so speak, it’s “hentai” or “blonde”.
If you need to suppress your urges completely, just type in “UK advertising agency chief executives” and there you will find plenty of wankers who will put you off for life…
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