Heart-broken Busty spills the beans

BustyI’m afraid I have some really sad news to impart, girls, something so tragic that even I have been fighting back the tears. No, it’s not the fact that Mike Colling’s rowing boat is still afloat, or that the chances of becoming a princess have been hit by yet another royal baby…
Nope, brace yourselves ladies, Stuart “Stuey” Archibald has only gone and got married, leaving every girl who’s ever had the pleasure of his company at 3am in Little Italy – and the Sunset Strip just round the corner – in despair. That’s right, the international playboy has been tamed and late-night Soho will never be the same again…
Bless him, true to his Scottish roots, he even got hitched in a kilt. I wonder if he played the bagpipes, like he used to do in the school band back in the day?
To be honest, the writing has been on the wall ever since Stuey moved back to Oz to be closer to his mum and dad like the dutiful son he is.
First there was baby Ophelia (although he did run out on his poor lady about a week later to come over to the UK for a jolly, sorry, I mean business meeting); then there was talk that he had rented out his batchelor pad overlooking Sydney harbour; the final nail in the coffin was the rumour that Sydney “establishments” Bada Bing, Minx, Twin Peaks and Porky’s Nite Spot had been forced to lay off staff because Stuey had withdrawn his support. He’s chaaaaaaaanged.
Of course, we’ve still got the memories, like the time his co-founders at AIS London were forced to hire him an “ugly Betty” secretary because he allegedly kept getting sued for sexual misconduct…and what about when he allegedly turned up to a board meeting with a, ahem, “lady of the night”? Of course I didn’t believe a word of those grubby stories but loose lips sink ships and all that.
Mind you, those were the days…lunches that went on all night and into the next day, Skoda’s marketing director desperate to get into his pants – well how do you think they held on to that account for so long? – and evenings in Crystals.
We miss you Stu, come over and see us all sometime…

You can also follow Busty on Twitter @BustyIdol

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