Well, you’ll be pleased to know that I did eventually get back from my trip to the French Riviera. Mind you, my body certainly took a pounding in Cannes – in more ways than one.
You may also be pleased to know that the recruitment drive for my uncle’s start-up, Bone Idol, reached a satisfactory climax. Hans Alloverme, my fit Dutch creative director, is now onboard and I’ve got more than a handful of other fresh talent ready to shoot from the hip. Young guns, hey, doncha just love ‘em; so keen and eager to please.
Uncle Ivan didn’t seem too chuffed, though, apparently I was supposed to hire a mix of people, not just boys. Ah well, I’m sure he’ll get over it, eventually…
Someone else who isn’t too chuffed is the esteemed editor of this site. He claims I’ve taken my eye off the ball – obviously reports from Cannes have not filtered back yet – and says I need to up my game on here and get more subscribers to decisionmarketing.co.uk. It seems there’s far too much talk of Bone Idol on here and not enough about how great this website is. So, come on guys and girls, spread the word will ya, you wouldn’t want to see little ol’ Busty getting the boot would you?
I was wondering what had brought on his new-found megalomania and then I read on another bit of this magnificent website (you see I can big it up when required) that his old bosses at Centaur Media had agreed to pay £50m for Econsultancy.
Yes, that’s right, £50m for a site that has 5,000 subscribers and adjusted earnings – before interest, tax and amortisation (whatever that is) – of just £1.1m. According to my calculations on the back of a fag packet, that’s about £10,000 per subscriber. Hmm, nice work if you can get it.
Now, sources claim that the site has a “huge back-end” – well, that makes two of us, although I prefer to call mine a J-lo arse – and that is what they have paid for. Still, I’m now on a mission to get more of you lot to subscribe, as McKelvey reckons if we can boost our figures Centaur’s main rival Haymarket will not be able to resist splashing the cash. And yours truly will at last be minted.
So, come on folks, get your friends, family, colleagues – even the family pet – to sign up. The person with the most recommendations will be in line for the best Busty Bonus money can buy…
