Well, would you believe, I still haven’t had any decent offers from all you millionaires out there? I mean, how many Busty Bonuses does it take to get into a man’s wallet…or a woman’s purse for that matter?
The thing is I don’t mind swinging both ways – especially if there’s cash involved – but to be honest, I’m not that keen on being a full-time ‘vagitarian’.
Anyway, my finances are now officially as wobbly as Lady Gaga’s arse, so I’ve decided to give my Uncle Ivan – and his cloud cuckoo-land Bone Idol agency – the push. After all, it’s already had more relaunches than a Space Shuttle and it hasn’t even opened for business yet.
Nope, I’ve made up my mind – if you want to do it properly, you’ve got to do it yourself. So, I’m biting the bullet (which makes a change from the pillow) and setting up my very own direct and digital marketing agency.
But surprise, surprise, I’ve been having a little bit of trouble coming up with the name. Sadly, ‘An Abundance’ has already been taken, so too ‘Now’, ‘Mustard’ has been tried, tested and failed, while ‘Me’ has been bagged by VCCP.
Then suddenly it struck me – why not take a leaf out of the Wheeler brothers’ book and start with a decent acronym?
You see, the story goes that when they were looking to launch their own agency, the smooth-talking siblings couldn’t think of anything, so they just registered the rather unimaginatively titled Wheelers Direct Marketing & Promotions. Well, Gavin had worked in DM and Craig had worked in promotions at IMP, back in the day.
(By the way, apparently Craig’s claim on his LinkedIn profile that he’s a quantum physicist is a joke. I should’ve smelled a rat – when did messers Farrell and Quarry ever hire brains over breasts at IMP?)
I digress. The point being this, no sooner had they launched, than clients suddenly started banging on the door, believing WDMP was a WWAV-style acronym of at least four heavyweight business partners. The rest, as they say, is history…
Still, back to me… After much blue-sky thinking, I’ve decided to call my venture Busty’s Direct Sales & Marketing – which just so happens to be BDSM for short. Catchy innit?
Of course, I didn’t choose this lightly and took the trouble to contact a few industry matchmakers to see what they thought… I’m pleased to say that I have it on good authority that all the guys at the AAR love BDSM, including good old Spongie and Kerry, while down at the Observatory, Stuart Pocock is cockahoop about it – even Angus Crowther at Oystercatchers is up for a bit of BDSM too.
Sadly it seems Suki Thompson’s not so keen… do you think it would be worth my while going down there and giving her a crack of the whip?
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