Well, I have to say those guys at Ruby or the Red Brick Road or TRBR or whatever it’s called these days, have certainly given me hope that my own venture, Busty’s Direct Sales & Marketing, will be welcomed with open arms. I mean, they may well have a bloke called ‘Dickie’ but what you do rather have, TRBR or BDSM?
I took my plans to the DQM Conference this week and I’m pleased to say that the vast majority of people there liked the sound of BDSM, too, especially Marc Michaels and David Reed, although not necessarily at the same time.
The thing is, as you probably realise, I’m no data guru, so where better to suck in all that expertise? The guys at KBM – that’s Wunderman data to the rest of you – were very forthcoming, although I’m not too sure they were that chuffed to be there considering their boss was living it up at the US DMA Fair in Las Vegas. I know where I’d rather have been…That’s right, who needs the excitement of the Las Vegas strip when you can be listening to lectures on the future of data surrounded by geeks?
Initially I thought there was a pretty good mix of men and women until I realised that most of the women were actually working at the venue. Not that I mind being in the company of men, you understand, but I did stick out like a sore thumb sitting there with my assets on display – never mind Big Data, most of the blokes there were too busy gawping at Big Busty…
Still, I did pick up plenty of tips, especially from futurologist Dr Ian Pearson. He claims that in a few years everyone’s going to be talking about ‘smart dust’. Soon you’ll be able to pour this stuff into the air conditioning systems of large companies and then track every conversation and computer transaction in the whole building. All of which left me wondering whether Doc Pearson was actually hallucinating on account of taking a little bit too much dust himself, Angel Dust that is…
Anyway, one company whose example I’m unlikely to follow is B2 Data. Having been hailed as the next best thing since sliced bread and a potential challenger to, er, Experian, you have to wonder why its website has not been updated for two years, all the bosses on the ‘our team’ page have left and the phone lines are dead. Not something to fill you with confidence about the recency of its data.
According to one rather truculent director, it’s “changed focus” and now runs something called B2Hub, where you can buy anything from the latest gizmo to the kitchen sink – all at knockdown prices. I’m sure Experian are quaking in their boots; then again maybe I’m on the Angel Dust, too.
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