Is it just me or is life getting a little dull? GDPR? Bah. General Election. Ugh. Luckily, help is at hand with the launch of the Busty Britain manifesto.
As I see it, we need a strong person to guide this country through the hell of Brexit, and who better to trust than a strong woman with massive knockers?
Like many people, I’ve become very disallusioned with all politicians. But instead of sitting back while they ruin our country, I’ve decided to do something about it and I intend to take on the challenge of running this dis-United Kingdom myself.
And I think you will find my manifesto is a sure-fire winner which will bring this country back to its rightful place as a global superpower, rather than a small island with little influence.
Of course, I have only had limited time to thrash out the key tenets of my policies on the back of a fag packet and admittedly these are well worn themes but, hey, it’s Bank Holiday coming up and I am going away so time is of the essence:
Pledge 1: All alcohol will be free at weekends, and anyone who has to work on these days will get their free entitlement on their days off. This should get the Sweaties and the Taffies on board straight away, in one fell swoop uniting the nation.
Pledge 2: All women will get free sexy undies. Another definite winner to bring both genders on board.
Pledge 3: Every Monday will be a Bank Holiday. Jeremy Corbyn might be trying to win some votes by bringing in a few more, but I will go one better and make them all a day off.
Pledge 4: All news stories about GDPR will be banned. Now I realise that might mean companies will be kept in the dark, but no-one seems to know what is going on anyway.
Pledge 5: Broadband services will be free. Come on girls and boys, do you really think you should pay a monthly fee to a telecoms provider just to do your online shopping and visit your favourite porn sites?
Pledge 6: Any foreign companies wanting to set up an HQ in the UK will have to employ at least 50% of British people, but they can’t expect us to turn up for work.
There you have it. There will obviously have to be a few people who lose out financially, but they’ll be loaded anyway. Also we’ll probably have to limit immigration a little bit, but not too much. After all, who the hell is going to do all those messy jobs us Brits don’t want to.
Don’t forget, a vote for Busty Britain is a vote for a stronger, united country, and one that will definitely be a much more fun place to live.
You can also follow Busty on Twitter @BustyIdol
