Busty ditches the big briefs…

gossip-three-23-300x3001Local and European elections anyone? Bah, who cares, there’s another bank holiday on the way, and I’m hoping it is going to be the start of the summer of fun.
You may recall that last week I was playing Julian Assange, forced into hiding following the Campaign-gate exposĂ©, with only Drayton Bird’s smiling face for comfort.
My esteemed editor even made me contact a few libel lawyers just in case Haymarket’s briefs came knocking. Then it struck me, why not kill two birds with one stone and bag myself a rich lawyer who could represent me if things go tits up?
A quick Google search later and I stumbled across Lawyerflirts.com, which claims to be the “best, largest and most successful online dating site for professional singles”.
As the blurb goes on: “If you are still working during happy hours and other social events, if your weekends are devoted to writing briefs or studying for your next law school exam, you will love this unique opportunity to find romance on the Web.”
Never one to hold back I got straight on there and was soon being bombarded by pervs – nothing wrong with that, of course, so long as they can do the job in hand – with usernames such as “Mr Big Briefs”, “Massive Magistrate” and “Judge Jugs”. Mind you, on closer inspection most of them made Rumpole of the Old Bailey look like Brad Pitt.
I might be keen, but I’m not desperate. And I was just about to jack it all in when I got a text from my old flame Tarquin Farquhar (Farquhar by name, dirty Farquhar by nature). He’s got a spare ticket for the World Cup and wanted to know whether I was interested. Believe me, I was down on my knees in a flash and now I’m the proud owner of a ticket to Rio de Janeiro.
Forget the legal battle, I’m off to see the fittest footie stars in the world sweat it out on the Copacabana beach…Now that really will be a summer of fun.

You can also follow Busty on Twitter @BustyIdol

 

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