I’m not too sure if the cold weather has affected my brain this week but following the resignation of England manager Fabio Capello my thoughts have turned to the so-called beautiful game.
Now normally my involvement with matters football are limited to staring at David Beckham’s bulging pants or Frank Lampard’s powerful thighs, but for some reason Fabio’s exit got me thinking about how little ol’ Busty and the DM industry could come to the rescue of the Three Lions.
To cheer up those Spurs fans who are desperate to cling on to ‘Arry ‘my income tax is paid in full’ Redknapp for a few more years I’ve decided to throw my hat in the ring.
And, judging by recent performances, I reckon we’re going to need a whole new team on the pitch too, as well as backroom staff. I’ve already decided to retain Beckham for obvious reasons – he will be my right-hand man, my left-hand man, and my writhing on top man, too.
Having studied the form of the DM industry big shots, spent hours studying scouting videos and tactical strategies I’ve come up with my very own world-beating eleven.
So, for what it’s worth, here is my best shot:
Goalkeeper:
Phil Nunn, DraftFCB (OK he may not be at his physical peak but you can’t argue that he would make the ideal shot stopper)
Defence:
Lloyd James founder and head honcho Lloyd James (his legs are already waxed)
Former Precision Marketing publisher Declan Gough (handy when he’s had a few)
MMA boss Scott Knox (fit as a fiddle these days, you know)
DraftFCB PR boss Stephen Martinic (proved he had stamina at that beach party in Cannes last year)
A strange line-up you may think, but I know for a fact at least two of them like it round the back.
Midfield:
Tree founder Steve Mattey (he’s in training for the London Marathon, you know)
Marc Nohr (who’s gonna want to pick a fight with him?)
Amanda Phillips (ditto)
Former Rapp boss Pete Mitchell (he’s not doing anything else at the moment)
Strikers:
Tesco digital chief Matt Atkinson (he can run and run and run)
Colin Lloyd (OK he’s not getting any younger but he’s bloody tall and would be the perfect foil for ‘iron man’ Matt)
What do you reckon to the chances of this team winning anything…sweet FA?
Follow Busty on Twitter @BustyIdol
