Busty goes deep undercover

Oh lucky old me. You may recall I was on a promise of a good drink up on account of the fact that last week it was our esteemed editor’s 51st birthday. Well, to be fair, he delivered on his promise to take the whole team out. And, luckily he hadn’t read my column grassing him up that I was the only one doing any work on here.
Unfortunately, my Uncle Ivan did read it. Now he’s threatening to reveal all unless I go undercover to dig up some dirt on the agency market. You see, he’s preparing to launch his much-anticipated agency, Idol Hands…(like that one is ever going to launch).
Anyway, so this week I have mostly been trying to find out how the new agencies on the block are doing.
Those former Gyro chiefs who set up ‘Founded’ claim they are not actually launching an agency. Yeh right, pull the other one. They also claim they’ve got loads of clients. Yeh right – let’s see the evidence then? Try as I may, I couldn’t see a single one when I camped outside their offices.
Next up was ‘Now’, the agency set up by John ‘lovely curls’ Townshend. They seem to be doing OK, despite the Waitrose fiasco which saw them pick up a massive account two weeks after launch, and then lose it two weeks later. This week, they’ve just picked up the social media account for…er, Butlin’s. That’s right, you read it correctly, Butlin’s.
So I started following John – who goes by the official title of Viscount Townshend of Raynham Hall – and it seems he loves nothing more than a cheeky trip to Butlin’s Bognor Regis to sample the delights of the Spar Supermarket, the launderette and Splash Waterworld. Still, he is used to living in large sprawling areas covered in serfs – at the 7,000 acre Raynham estate in Norfolk where he grew up. Jealous? Moi?
At least his agency is winning business, which, it appears, is more than can be said for the Chris Ward and Amanda Phillips shop, An Abundance, allegedly.
Maybe they are keeping their powder dry for a massive announcement. Maybe they have ‘an abundance’ of work they are not allowed to talk about – although, knowing Chris that is pretty unlikely. Nice as he is, you only ever hear from him when he’s got something to brag about – an abundance of all mouth, no trousers, you could say…
So, there you have it, I’ve gathered all the evidence and there’s not much going on in the start-up world. Come on Ivan isn’t it time you set up shop? Then you can fall back on the phrase every unknown agency in the world uses: “We’re the best kept secret in agency land.”

Follow Busty on Twitter @BustyIdol