At the Idol household we believe in keeping things in the family. So, when my Uncle Ivan called me last week to say he was off on his holidays down in the West Country, I said I was more than happy to take over his column.
So, please let me introduce myself, I’m Ivan’s niece, Busty Idol. Thing is, I know he keeps banging on about not getting paid, but I really don’t know what the problem is; I’ve already picked up a wad of cash from the esteemed editor of this august site. (OK, I did use some feminine wiles but, hey, they don’t call me Busty for nothing…)
Thing is, I could never claim to be an expert on this marketing stuff so I thought I’d better flick through a few glossy mags to see what’s been going on this week.
Hmmm, well the first thing I must say is that your industry rags are sooooooooooo boring. I thought marketing and advertising were supposed to be glamorous? Dear, oh dear, I’ve seen more glamour in the ladies’ changing rooms at Asda than in Marketing Week, Marketing and Campaign combined.
Luckily I do know a fit man when I see one; and that John Townshend from Now – now he is FIT. Apparently his family is loaded too, on account of being landed gentry, so that makes him doubly FIT.
Anyway, according to reports, his agency has just picked up the Butlin’s ad account. Yep, you read it right, Butlin’s! I would have loved to have been in on that pitch. You can almost hear it: “Yah, every summer when we were kids we left our 7,000-acre estate at Raynham Hall to take a trip to Butlin’s, so we know the market really well…” Still, as I say, John is FIT so I’ll let him off…
One agency which seems to be on the end of a tongue-lashing is DraftFCB. According to Campaign editor Claire Beale (now that one needs a decent meal, that’s for sure), the agency is “past it”.
You have to feel sorry for DraftFCB’s PR boss Stephen Martincic, one of the nicest blokes around and the man who has paid for more Campaign journalists to go to Cannes than any other, so my Uncle says. Not only that, but it is said creative director Mark Fiddes recently designed the wedding invites for one Campaign reporter whose nuptials are set to take place in Tuscany this summer.
Then again, maybe I have stumbled across exactly the reason why, girlfriend. Obviously poor old Claire hasn’t had an invite to the wedding. Well, Uncle Ivan’s had an invite, and I’m going along with him as a ‘plus-one’ and I don’t even know the girl. And I do love a wedding; new outfit, new shoes, and, with a bit of luck, a new man at the end of it.
See you next week, when I’ll reveal all…
