Well, I am afraid to say that my best efforts to secure a DMA Summer Lunch freebie have so far fallen on deaf ears; mind you, it hasn’t stopped their lovely events team from bombarding me with emails to get me to buy a ticket…do they not know who I am?
I wouldn’t mind, but I was so confident that my feminine wiles would work a treat that I have already booked my easyHotel room. I know, I know, it is only a lunch but as anyone who has ever attended this particular event will concur, lunch leads to afternoon drinks, then evening ones and finally on to late night frolics.
Anyway, I was going to go for something a bit plusher this time until I received an “immediate release” that everyone’s favourite budget chain is trialling fake window views of iconic London landmarks for guests at its Old Street Hotel.
For just £1, customers can ‘upgrade’ to a view of Tower Bridge or Buckingham Palace, at “a fraction of the cost paid for a decent view in some of the City’s most expensive hotels”. Luckily, there is no need to book in advance for a fake view either as you can simply request one on arrival at reception and easyHotel will take care of the rest.
Jorge Rodriguez, the bizarrely named “night night manager of easyHotel”, said: “Many London hotels charge rates as high as £10,000 for a premium view from a room. Why shell out a fortune when you could be spending your hard-earned cash on the experience of the city itself? Our customers’ cash stays in their wallets for an enjoyable visit rather than being literally thrown out the window.”
“The real experience of the capital is the experience on the streets, in the museums, restaurants and shops – not staring out of window. Guests might as well spend a fraction of that £10K on a TV and experience the view at home instead. If you really want a view, just spend an extra quid with us.”
Nto that I have given up all hope just yet of securing my place for “some fun in the sun”, although as I can’t see old McKelvey stumping up the £300+ VAT, I might just have to settle with looking at a picture of Tower Bridge in my hotel room instead.
In fact, if I don’t get my invite, I might just hold an Alternative Summer Lunch in my room…there will be plenty of “fun” in there with me, that I can guarantee, and it certainly won’t cost you 300 quid. Just a bottle of Lambrini and you’re in, so to speak…
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