Foxy ponders…if marketing mags were football clubs

foxy 414Oh, the joys of the news cycle; no sooner had our lesser rivals bashed out a load of guff about the European Super League, than it was all over, with the English clubs marching a hasty retreat amid a PR disaster (thank gawd McContent & Design – remember them? – didn’t pick up that brief from hell).

Now, being a Bolton fan, I would’ve loved nothing more than Wanderers to be in the Super League; I mean, what’s not to like, we would have got paid a fortune and, more importantly, we would never have to worry about relegation again.

You see, Bolton FC may have been founded in 1874 by the Reverend Joseph Farrall Wright and schoolmaster Thomas Ogdenas as Christ Church FC – and a founder member of the Football League in 1888 – but God has not been on our side for decades.

In fact, you have to go back to 1957-58, even before my esteemed and sexagenarian boss was born, for our last major trophy…the “mighty” FA Cup, when Nat Lofthouse single-handedly destroyed Manchester United 2-0 in front of 100,000 fans, including my granddad. But at least we saw off Bury; they went bust in 2020.

Anyway, all this coverage of the Super League got me thinking; if marketing magazines were football clubs, which one would they be?

Marketing Week would of course be Arsenal. They had a good few years back in the day but now seem to have lost their way. However, they still think they are up there with the best (current Premier League position: 9th).

Campaign would of course be Newcastle. They have a multi-millionaire owner but he’s more concerned with his other interests and the star strikers are long gone. Their fans love them more than life itself but no-one else can see why (current Premier League position: 15th).

The Drum would of course be Tottenham. They seem to have plenty of cash (The Drum Network anyone?) and love themselves more than life itself. But, at the end of the day, what have you got? A team which never wins anything (current Premier League position: 6th).

The Creative Salon would of course be Salford City. Launched by former “stars” of the industry, if the first week is anything to go by, it could be a while before they shake up the world. Ten press releases and a profile of rent-a-quote Pete Markey don’t quite cut it (current League Two position: 9th).

And what of Decision Marketing we hear you ask…why we’re Barcelona of course; everyone’s favourite team, brimming with flair and bursting with stars.

OK, we might not win EVERYTHING, but our fanbase is the best in the world…

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