Ah, sun, sand and sex…and sometimes all three. That’s right folks, I’m writing this week’s missive on the beach – that’s why it’s a little late. But not any old beach, you know. Although I understand that even the weather in dear old Blighty is mighty fine, I have actually decamped to Cannes for a while…
Not that I will be out here when the place fills up with annoying admen desperately trying to get their wedding rings off and schmooze over the local ladies – or prostitutes, for those whose ‘ring’ finger has become too fat.
Who on earth would want to be around when the beaches resemble a topless IPA Council meeting? All that white man-flesh is not a pretty site I can tell you… It might be a Campaign journalist’s dream gig – most will have spent all year trying to secure their place down here – but I think I’d rather spend a week in the prison showers…
Anyway, I’m having some downtime to recharge my batteries for the launch of the summer. Diamond Jubliee? Nah. Olympics? Nope. European Football Championships? Definitely not. You see, there is a much bigger event just around the corner, the much-awaited, the much-anticipated…yep, you guessed it, the launch of my direct and digital agency, Bone Idol.
I thought about the name a few months back and have had one hell of a job trying to find a partner called Bone, but at last I have managed to find one. To be fair, as a cocker-spaniel, he knows naff all about marketing but, hey, it hasn’t stopped plenty of other dogs making a fist of it in this industry.
And now that I see Adam & Eve have just banked £60m, Sir Martin Sorrell and his ilk will be looking round for the ‘next big thing’.
Just as well, because I’ve also managed to lure Busty away from the Burlesque scene to join me. She will work on new business most of the time but will also hang out in reception as a go-go dancer with Bone providing extra support.
Well, I did say we were going to be the ‘next big thing’ didn’t I? What with Busty’s huge assets and Bone’s, errr, bone, there will be plenty of ‘double whammies’ going on in her meet and greet area I can tell you.
And, of course, visitors to the building will be more than welcome to give Busty a bone, too.
In the meantime, I’m looking to hire a new creative chief. Obviously he’s got to be called ‘Steve’, because all the good ones are aren’t they? Well at least all the ones who think they are the good ones.
Ah well, that can wait a few weeks, I’ve just spotted someone bouncing along the beach who looks like they might make a perfect PA…
