If you’re thinking life feels less worthwhile, you’re less happy and you’re more worried about your health than you were two years ago, it’s not just you, apparently, we’re all suffering.
Well, that is according to two separate Government surveys, the irony of which should not be lost on anyone, considering Johnson, Truss and Sunak are to blame for much of this doom and gloom.
Anyway, apparently there are things we can do to remedy some problems, but others are just part of British life, reckon our old friends at the London Medical Laboratory, led by chief scientific officer Dr Quinton “chuckles” Fivelman, PhD.
He said: “These latest Government figures don’t paint a rosy picture of life in Britain today. If you are feeling less healthy and wealthy than you did in 2020, you’re not alone.”
Now Dr Quint reckons that various problems are preying on our minds. Uppermost is the cost of living, which he says is one of the most important issues facing us today (no shit). The state of the NHS comes second in the worrying stakes and the economy third, while heating our homes and loneliness are major bugbears.
He obviously got his PhD in stating the bleeding obvious; he certainly didn’t get it for subtle self-promotion as no sooner had he spouted on about the causes of misery than there he was again, pushing the London Medical Laboratory’s blood tests as the solution to all our ills, arguing that knowing we have a clean bill of health is also likely to boost our happiness levels.
Dr Quinton explained: “London Medical Laboratory’s tests, for example, provide people with a comprehensive check-up of their general health, including diabetes, gout, liver and kidney function, bone health, iron levels and a full cholesterol profile. Other more comprehensive tests such as the very popular Well Woman and Well Man tests, check your vitamin D levels, which are often low at this time of year, and any potential thyroid or hormonal imbalances.
“Many tests can be taken at home through the post, or at one of the many drop-in clinics that offer these tests across London and nationwide in over 95 selected pharmacies and health stores.”
Well, thanks for the offer Dr Quinton, but is there any chance you could explain quite how shelling out hundreds of pounds for private health tests will help our wealth and happiness? Hmm, didn’t think so…