Poor old Matt Atkinson. One minute former boss of Havas EHS is relishing landing one of the biggest client jobs in the world; the next he is being attacked as being a “puppy hater” for having the temerity to oversee what has been deemed an outrageous Christmas gift guide.
Even his renowned smarming skills are going to be challenged with this one. Mind you, having looked on Tesco’s Facebook page, it seems the catalogue is not the only evidence of how the UK’s largest retailer takes a dim view of our canine friends. As one user wrote: “The recent Hudl advert features a family laughing at a dog too.”
Now, for fear of upsetting animal lovers, get a grip will ya? I actually feel sorry for the girl in the picture…she obviously doesn’t realise what a pain in the arse a puppy can be. I mean, they chew everything, pester you all the time and then before you know it they turn into massive dogs who eat you out of house and home and constantly demand “walkies”…
Anyway, talking of puppies, I had a bizarre encounter with a member of the plastic surgery community this week. (Did you know their trade body is called, rather aptly, BAAPs?) Our eyes met late last week in the rather crowded Sun & 13 Cantons in Soho and we soon got chatting. I know you won’t believe me, but his name is “Mr Perfect”.
He simply couldn’t take his eyes off my 38DDs, and the next thing I knew he was inviting back to his place for a, ahem, consultation. It seems he’s so fed up with fondling fake boobs in his day job that, come evening time, he loves nothing more than to get a grip of the real thing. Luckily he’s loaded, too.
To be honest, he could’ve done with a bit of treatment down below, but his bulging wallet certainly made up for his inadequacies in that department. I’ve been whined and dined all week and I think he could just be the one (for the next month or so at least). And he could be very useful in the future when my assets start to go south.
With the festive season only weeks away, old Perfect will certainly be a welcome addition to my hoard of admirers. But I will have to warn him, “these puppies are not for life, they’re only for Christmas.”
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