‘Shit that folds’ hits the fan

They say life’s a marathon not a sprint, and, so it is with book publishing I’m rapidly finding out. Apparently Fifty Shades of Grey only started off by selling a few copies a week in Australia (not many of them down there can read allegedly), so you lovely readers who’ve already ordered your World According to Busty Idol & Friends (just £6.99, please click here!) could be at the beginning of a major phenomenon.
I hear some of you even think it’s a wind-up; that I’ve just invented the whole book thing and mocked up a picture to massage my own ego. I admit, I do like a massage – especially with sensual oils – but I’m pleased to confirm that the book is real (just £6.99, please click here!).
Now whether it will match EL James’ 40 million copies worldwide is another matter, so you may be pleased to know I won’t be giving up the day job just yet. As the lovely, if somewhat bossy, Amanda Phillips will confirm, there’s not An Abundance of work out there for anyone…
However, there does appear to be an abundance of column inches being churned out down in Hammersmith after the chairman of Campaign’s ‘Big Awards’ – AMV executive creative director Paul Brazier – had the temerity to say he was underwhelmed by this year’s shit-that-folds, I mean direct marketing, category.
I bet this year’s winners, including well-known DM shops BBH, VCCP, Leo Burnett, Grey London and, surprise, surprise, AMV, were delighted to read that.
According to full-time adland luvvie and part-time hack John Tylee, Brazier is well placed to comment because AMV won the Direct Agency of the Year prize down in Cannes a few years back. Brazier himself pointed out: “There’s very little work we do that doesn’t include a direct element.” And this, old Tylee reckons, is why Brazier has to be taken seriously.
No doubt Steve Aldridge, Steve Stretton, Cordell Burke, Paul Kitcatt, Dave Harris, Ian Bates, Chris Arnold, Mike Cavers, John Townshend, Neil Francis, Nicky Bullard, Shaun Moran, Jamie Bell et al have been tossing and turning all night – well, some of them are actually professional tossers – worrying about the parlous state the industry is in.
Yeh right. Get a grip Tylee will ya? The last time I looked, Proximity London were the DM agency in that particular fold, not AMV. Then again, maybe Brazier wouldn’t let them enter the Cannes Lions.
And not that I would ever claim to be a creative guru – I can think of much better uses for a Magic Marker – but maybe the problem is that the Big Awards DM category contained work that was, well, too much like direct marketing.
After all, wasn’t it the Campaign Awards that one year gave the top DM prize to a park bench? Then there was the time they gave it to an oil tanker painted up as a giant cigarette. If those two are the best examples of direct marketing, well, I’m a best selling author (just £6.99, please click here!).

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