You can’t keep a junk mailer down

If old golfers never die, they just lose their balls and old hookers never die, they just get laid off, what, dear readers happens to old junk mailers? Well if this week’s events are anything to go by, they launch another bloody agency.
The thing is, you have to wonder what persuaded Duncan Gray to open the doors of the new ethical agency United? According to sources close to the situation – just for the sake of it, we’ll call him Mr Catchpole – Elly Woolston was interviewing for an executive creative director for the agency at the back end of last year. Next thing, old Dunc turned up as creative partner, and the promise of a top role evaporated.
Last we heard, Elly had given up London life to spend more time with her horses in Cheltenham, and a nice little earner at DMS in Bristol. Now, it transpires, she will be responsible for the day to day running of the new agency in Old Street. Ah well, guess the price of horse feed must have gone up then…
As for Duncan, he’s either bored out of his skull or has an expensive wife. Talking of which, I see both Terry ‘the grand dame of DM’ Hunt and Simon ‘don’t cross him or he’ll sulk for life’ Hall have finally left their senior roles at EHS Brann and CHI respectively to, yep, you guessed it, set up consultancies.
What is the matter with these people? Whatever happened to putting your feet up? I guess the lure of this industry is just too strong – or maybe the overdraft is too large.
One agency whose overdraft will be looking slightly healthier is WDMP, having picked up a nice Maserati account this week. But don’t tell the IPA, Gavin, they might expect you to join now and you won’t be able to get a free ticket to the annual lunch next year.
And is it just me or was it a coincidence that Gary ‘the hair’ Sharpen was axed…er, I mean, left to pursue new interests, just before they won the account? Knowing Gary, he would probably have been desperate to get behind the wheel of one of those little babies; and that could have put a serious dent in the agency’s income.
In other news I see even Wand have picked up some new business, from Peugeot – bloody hell, things must be picking up…

(Got anything you’re dying to get off your chest? Email me, discretion guaranteed! ivan.idol@hotmail.co.uk)