Marmite Mind Control: A chance to unite the nation?

marmiteAnd so to the original love it or loathe it brand, Marmite, which, if you believe everything you read, divides the nation even more than Brexit. But unlike the latter, someone somewhere is actually attempting to convert the haters into lovers, through the power of hypnosis.

According to the official blurb at least, this is the first time in its 117-year history that the Unilever brand is embarking on such a quest and is calling on Marmite haters to take part in a social experiment.

They can apply for a unique mind control experience by answering a series of questions online and their answers will be scrutinised to ensure they meet eligibility requirements. Quite what this entails and quite how they will sift out the blaggers is another matter.

Anyway once the chosen few have been picked they will travel to London to watch a hypnosis film that could, apparently, see one person walk away as a fan of the savoury spread.

To support the initiative, Adam & Eve DDB has devised a new TV ad, showcasing the possible reactions of “Marmite Mind Control” as haters watch the hypnotic video and became lovers of the spread. However, the hypnosis film is so powerful, they aren’t letting anyone under the age of 18 see it. A likely story.

Mind you they have pulled out all the stops to try to make this look genuine, even drafting in trained hypnotist, hypnotherapy trainer and best-selling author Rory Z “look into my eyes, look into my eyes” Fulcher to oversee the experiment.

He will even be at hand as the “few” are taken through a series of mind control techniques designed to change their taste perceptions, converting them into Marmite lovers.

Fulcher said: “In order to change the taste perceptions of our participants, I’ll be using hypnotherapy techniques. These are used to create positive, measurable changes in thoughts, behaviours and habits.

“In order to take part, our participants have to want to be hypnotised because hypnosis is a self-generated state, which means if someone doesn’t want to be hypnotised, then it’s highly unlikely they’ll go into a hypnotic state. We’re calling all Marmite haters that are willing and able to take part in this fun social experiment.”

Marmite marketing manager Rachel Chambers said: “The taste of Marmite has been dividing families for over 100 years. We’re so pleased that we have finally cracked how to convert even the most vehement of haters to lovers, using the power of hypnosis.

“The recent research cemented Marmite’s reputation as the most loved and hated product of our generation, and we can’t wait for lucky participants to be converted from haters to lovers.”

So, what is the consensus around the Decision Marketing office? Are the haters amongst us willing to place themselves at the mercy of Rory Z or is it all a big ruse? Will we be rushing out to buy the special jars of Marmite even though they have already been on sale for over a fortnight? Will the campaign be a sure-fire award winner as some have predicted or is it trying just a little too hard? Will haters really give a toss?

So many questions, so little time…

Well, as the office is divided down the middle, we are guessing it is just the sort of place Marmite is trying to lure in. The main issue for the haters, however, is that they are quite happy as they are and are in no particular rush to fall in love with salt-laden black gloop, no matter how healthy they claim it is.

As for an award winner? Well, bearing in mind that campaigns don’t actually have to work these days to carry home all the gongs, it will no doubt be lauded from high. But credit where credit is due, it is an entertaining yarn.

And who knows, if it can actually turn haters into lovers, maybe Brussels will order a “Brexit Mind Control” programme for Parliament…

Decision Marketing Adometer: 7 out of 10

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