And so to World Poetry Day – where else I hear you ask? – which as bright sparks among you will already know was established by Unesco in 1999, with the aim of promoting the reading, writing, and teaching of poetry worldwide.
The day is also intended to support linguistic diversity and to foster connections between different cultures and traditions – which obviously has always been my mantra – I have always been a massive fan of cunning linguists. Since its establishment, World Poetry Day has been celebrated by poets and poetry enthusiasts around the world, and now little ol’ Foxy, through a variety of events, readings, and initiatives.
So, without further ado, let me wax lyrical about your humble profession (with a touch of assistance from our new friends at Gemini), with my very own “Ode to Marketing Bullshit”.
Alright, buckle up, for marketing’s plight,
A comedic verse, both day and night.
We’ll delve into jargon, and buzzwordy haze,
And the desperate attempts to garner some praise.
There once was a marketer, quite keen,
Whose strategy? “Just post, unseen!”
He tweeted a cat, with a half-eaten fish,
“Engage with this content, fulfill your heart’s wish!”
He crafted a slogan, “Buy our strange goo!”
“It’s vaguely organic, and tastes like old shoe!”
He measured his metrics, with furrowed brow deep,
“My bounce rate’s a mountain! My conversions asleep!”
He tried influencer deals, with a hamster named Steve,
Who promoted a widget, “It helps you believe!”
The hamster, alas, chewed the widget in two,
And the brand’s reputation, just vanished from view.
He studied the trends, with a tear in his eye,
“Content is king! But what kind? Oh my!”
He wrote a blog post, “Ten Tips to Eat Toast,”
And hoped it would viral, from coast to coast.
He mastered the art of the A/B test,
“Should the button be crimson? Or slightly depressed?”
He tracked every click, every scroll, every sigh,
“Is this data insightful? Or just a big lie?”
He built a funnel, with layers so grand,
“From awareness to purchase, across the whole land!”
But customers wandered, confused and astray,
“What’s a ‘lead magnet’? Just go away!”
He tried storytelling, with tales of great might,
“Our soap will transform you, with radiant light!”
But customers scoffed, with a sceptical sneer,
“It’s soap, you fool, it cleans! That’s perfectly clear!”
He dreamed of virality, a meme that would soar,
“Our product’s so awesome, they’ll beg for much more!”
He made a TikTok dance, with a product in hand,
And tripped on the carpet, and landed on sand.
He paid for some ads, on platforms so vast,
“Targeted demographics, built to last!”
But bots and fake accounts, they clicked with such glee,
“Our ROI’s negative! What misery!”
He finally gave up, with a weary, soft sigh,
“Perhaps I’ll just sell, well, at least I’ll try.”
He opened a shop, with a sign, plain and bold,
“We sell what we sell, stories untold.”
And oddly enough, with no marketing’s fuss,
The customers came, just because they were thus.
They liked what they saw, and they bought with a grin,
“This product is decent! Where do I begin?”
So let this be a lesson, a comedic refrain,
Marketing’s a wild ride, through sunshine and rain.
Sometimes, the best strategy, simple and true,
Is just to be honest, and let things accrue.
And who says AI can’t string a sentence together? Bah.
Follow Foxy on X and Instagram if you must, but don’t get too excited as I’m never there
