“Celebrate good times, come on (let’s celebrate), Celebrate good times, come on (let’s celebrate). There’s a party goin’ on right here, a celebration to last throughout the years, so bring your good times and your laughter too, we gonna celebrate your party with you. Come on now.”
Yep, we’re taking a break from the world’s troubles for once; after all, it’s the four-day weekend at last and I for one am not going to be nailing myself up for Easter this year. Naturally, I might be on the cross – a chocolate filled one obviously.
But first, dear Foxy fans, I have to get this out of the way so I can begin the feasting.
Luckily, our old friends at IllicitEncounters.com have once again come to the rescue and filled my hole, with a new survey revealing that people’s taste in chocolate can expose what they get up to when their partner is not around.
Now, for once we don’t mean a penchant for Mars Bars, à la Marianne Faithful, but Mars is still right up there as cheaters have voted Celebrations as the number one box of chocs, with a whopping 42% of those who like to play away choosing those mini-bar morsels over any other brand.
Second place goes to Cadbury Heroes, followed by Quality Street. Roses are least liked by love rats – making those who enjoy them the most faithful Brits. Aw bless ’em.
Dirty cheaters were also asked to vote on their favourite chocolate across all the brands and it turns out that those gagging for a bit on the side like to nosh down on Celebrations’ Maltesers Teasers more than any other in the top ten. Next up is Miniature Snickers, Cadbury Heroes’ Wispa and Quality Street’s Fudge.
Fifth place goes to Celebrations’ Galaxy and then Cadbury Heroes’ Crunchie, Roses’ Hazel Whirl, Quality Street’s Green Triangle and rather fittingly Quality Street’s The Purple One, with Roses’ Strawberry Dream coming up the rear (quite literally it seems).
The thing is, IllicitEncounters has previously discovered that a significant number of female love rats shop in M&S for sexy lingerie to wear for their affair. So, if you spot your partner shopping in Marks & Sparks for bras and Celebrations – they may already be planning to get down and dirty with someone else.
Luckily, IllicitEncounters sex and relationships expert Jessica Leoni is on hand for top advice. She said: “We all know someone who just can’t help but sneak those extra few bites of delicious chocolate when it’s handed to them on a plate – they simply cannot trust themselves! That self-indulgence and lack of willpower is a recipe for an affair. Seeking pleasure in chocolate is the same as seeking pleasure in extra-marital sex – both hedonistic in nature.”
Don’t say you haven’t been warned…
Foxy has ditched X but is still on Instagram, just don’t get too excited as she’s never there
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