And so dear readers, as Micro-penis Man, aka Puny Putin, does his level best to flatten the world – his latest wheeze is to shell the biggest nuclear power station in Europe – I must admit it’s getting harder and harder to find something to get me out of this gloom.
That is until I found out that today is National Obesity Day. Yep, apparently us fatties have actually had our own dedicated day since 2015.
Good job too, because this month has already seen us celebrate National Peanut Butter Lover’s Day, National Pig Day, Fat Tuesday, National Banana Cream Day and National Stuff Your Face Day. OK, we made that last one up but, hey, it’s only May 4th so there’s still plenty more like that to be found.
Of course, up in my home town of Bolton, National Obesity Day is celebrated with gusto, mayo and curry sauce, with the local delicacy that is the “pasty barm”, that’s a pasty in a giant bread muffin, being handed out on every street corner.
Down here on the South Coast, it’s not quite such a big event sadly. Their idea of a portion of chips is something that comes in an egg cup.
Still, us girls in the Decision Marketing Nerve Centre are making up for it, with Peggy and Meggy from Skeggy munching their way through the Krispy Kreme menu, courtesy of its shop in Churchill Square, Brighton; Roxy bringing in the entire contents of Greggs, and Easter arriving ahead of time for me, with Hotel Chocolat’s Patisserie Chocolate Ostrich Easter Egg. What do you mean it’s too early?
However, there are a few places we are boycotting over their continued trade with the Russians – and we hope you will, too.
When asked by one of my contacts why they were still stocking Russian Vodka, for instance, Sainsbury’s came out with some claptrap about how all its products were clearly labelled with the country of origin and it was down to customer choice.
Meanwhile, McDonald’s and PepsiCo have refused to close their Russian outlets, triggering a #BoycottMcDonalds campaign on Twitter.
Maybe it’s because Mr Puny loves a Happy Meal; let’s just hope he chokes on one before he destroys us all…
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