Another cautionary cock and bull tale for marketers

foxy 414“It’s coming home, It’s coming home, It’s coming, Football’s coming home…” (again). Well, we’ve seen off the Germans, and our name is already on the cup, apparently, so football might well be coming home at last.

Just a note of caution, however, as Ukraine might not be quite such a pushover. Although I am no expert, manager Andriy Shevchenko appears to have his own three lions; Ruslan Malikovsky is weapon in reserve, while Andriy Yarmolenko is a different beast when he pulls on the national team shirt and Oleksandra Zinchensko can pretty much play in any position.

They also Artem Dovbyk, who seems to pop up everywhere on the pitch and Taras Stepanenko is pretty tasty too. But, as I say, I’m no expert…

One thing is for sure, though, with all those names ending in “O”, the BBC pundits are going to have a hell of a time…

Talking of which, I see that Beatles drummer Ringo “grumpy” Starr has got his knickers in a twist with the makers of a cock ring sex toy called Ring O, claiming the brand is far too similar to his name and might cause widespread confusion and global panic.

You see, the Ring O is part of the Screaming O range, with other names including the Swingo, and the Primo, which have sold 25 million products around the world.

In what is a stark warning to marketers planning on calling their brands anything similar, Grumpy-O has been arguing that his reputation would be trashed if the Ring O sex toy name was registered as a trademark with US authorities.

Documents filed by his lawyers said: “Consumers will likely believe that [Starr’s] newest venture is sex toys – and this is an association that [he] does not want.”

Grumpy-O, who now lives in Los Angeles, apparently believes any connection would tarnish his “name, likeness, and brand”.

Now, according to a settlement reached this week, Pacific Holdings and Momentum Management have agreed “to avoid any activity likely to lead to confusion” between their product and Starr. The deal says the companies can only use the name for “adult sex aids and desensitising sprays”. As opposed to what, exactly?

But, what about Roy Orbison, were his family equally fuming that the even more popular “Big-O” sex toy sullied his reputation? Funnily enough, N-o. What about the mobile phone giant when they brought out Big O2? N-o again.

Still, at least Ringo’s “name, likeness, and brand” are still intact… He still looks like a cock though.

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