Bonding session blows away those Valentine’s Day blues

foxy n“Love is in the air, everywhere I look around. Love is in the air, every sight and every sound.” Yeh right. Another Valentine’s Day has passed me by; not that I am bitter you understand, but the PR industry certainly did its level best to rub it in.
According to one release, ingredients for posh meals, such as veal, fillet steak, sirloin steak, king prawns, lobster and champagne shot up dramatically. Up here in the Red Rose County you’re lucky if you can get a chip butty and a mouthful of The Dog’s Bollocks.
Luckily help was at hand from our favourite adult entertainment site, Pornhub, which every February 14, shows its love by offering 100% free access to the Pornhub Premium service for a full day.
It certainly beat off Campaign’s attempt at getting readers’ hot under the collar with “The best Valentine’s Day 2018 brand activations”, and, even more worrying, “Why GDPR-day is Valentine’s day for brands”.
Of course, there was also plenty of really good advice swishing around, too. Some bloke from Optimizely said that “brands must look into personalising their customer offerings” around Valentine’s. “From love-themed colours to romantic product recommendations and search results, personalisation allows retailers to deliver customised and memorable digital experiences to target key micro or macro segments of its customers and prospects.” No shit Sherlock.
Anyway, no sooner was Valentine’s Day over and done with than I received an email from my esteemed editor inviting me to a “bonding” session in the West Country – Busty’s favourite haunt.
Not that I have ever been on one of these sessions which, in any other company I am told are designed to improve communication, morale, motivation, productivity, help employees to get to know each other better, and learn about each other’s strengths and weaknesses.
And to be honest I was a little concerned when he said he had booked a 6-bedroomed farmhouse in the peaceful and picturesque countryside near Charmouth and Lyme Regis. What the hell were we going to do there? Milk a few Friesians and muck out the cowsheds?
Thankfully, it was just a ruse, he had actually booked a plush apartment in Bath and also managed to blag us an afternoon at the Soho Farmhouse with Marauding Mike.
Mike and I soon managed to shake off the rest of the team (well, that’s McKelvey and our child webmeister) and we went back to his cabin for a proper “bonding” session. Now I know why Busty likes it so much round these parts…

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