Oh I do love a bit of track and field – you just can’t beat a nice stroll down a country track and then some fun in a field – oops, sorry, I mean the Olympics of course.
I see poor old Royal Mail has managed to shoot itself in the foot once more. All that goodwill from producing the ‘gold medal’ stamps has been wiped out after it revealed it would not be doing the same for the Paralympians.
Instead of a stamp for each winner, it will pick just six overall. Maybe it’s something to do with the fact that Team GB won 42 golds last time out…
Anyway, I’ve been so inspired by my visit to the Olympic Park that I’m even thinking of taking up some form of sport myself; especially when I read that all those fit athletes have so much tension to release that they are at it like rabbits in the ‘Sex Olympics’. The big question is which sport to take up?
Now I must confess I did try watersports once with my former boyfriend, “Farquar by name, dirty Farquar by nature” but to be honest it was all a bit too messy for me…
Then I thought about cycling – after all, I was the office bike for quite a while – but having tried unsuccessfully to get my 38DDs into one of those Lycra tops, I decided to leave it to the flat-chested professionals.
Hammer throwing? Look, I might be curvy but I’m not that huge. Shotput? Ditto. Judo? Have you seen the size of those munters?
Then I had a brainwave. What better way of getting fit than messing around in a sandpit wearing a bikini? VCCP me chief Ben Stephens is certainly a big fan, according to the pictures of ‘players’ arses posted on his Facebook page. Sadly, it looks far too much like hard work.
Mind you, I simply can’t believe that they keep going on about how Usain Bolt is not very fit. He looks well fit to me, but if he really needs a work-out he can come round my place any time he likes.
Maybe that’s it. I should offer all the athletes some ‘personal training’; I reckon a few Busty Bonuses would blow them all away at the Sex Olympics – do you reckon I’d get a special stamp too?
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