“Ruby, Ruby, Ruby, Ruby…ah ah ah, do know what you’ve done to me…ah ah ah.” That’s right fans, I too lost it all at Cheltenham when Ruby Walsh went down harder than a Pornhub star just after the rather aptly named Mares’ Hurdle.
At least this year I haven’t lost my shirt – or even my Agent Provocateur “Whip Me Stockings” – so far, although I’m sad to report that WPN Chameleon’s Chris Martin hasn’t fared quite so well.
Having started the day in a decidedly chipper mood, our young executive creative director was later rather more maudlin, posting online: “Oh dear. Down to earth with a bump. Started with Champagne and hope. Ended with Strongbow and a sausage roll. On the way back from a dismal betting day at Cheltenham. And yes I was heavily backing the bloody horse that fell 10 lengths clear.” I do hope he didn’t lose his shirt – that would not have been a pretty sight.
Over at the Blue Sheep corporate hospitality tent – where else? – Iain Lovatt has been lovin’ it, lovin’ it, lovin’ it with the great and the good of the DM industry. Not that I’ve had a chance to see them, you understand. Ever since I turned up a couple of years back in just my undies and decidedly worse for wear I have, would you believe, been persona non grata. Ah well, they’re the ones missing out.
Mind you, there have been some notable absences this year. Regular Cheltenham aficionados Ben Stephens and Chris Whitson have been nowhere to be seen. Maybe their wives won’t let him come this year due to their appalling track records. Maybe they’re actually too busy working, now they’ve got “proper” jobs.
Thing is, it’s always nice to know what they are backing so I can avoid their recommendations like the plague. As for little ol’ Busty, my big tip for the Gold Cup has to be the same as last year: Giant Bolster. After all, if you are going to get yourself a decent bolster, you might as well have a giant one…
