Busty shall go to the ball, if only to ‘out’ the vainglorious

busty idolWell, dear Busty fans, it’s been a pretty emotional week. Your outrage over my snub for that awards do (I’m not actually allowed to mention its name anymore) has brought a tear to my eye and made my heart skip a beat. It’s just nice to know that at least some of you care. The amazingly talented and amazingly handsome Jezza Lee has been, well, amazingly amazing…
And, I’m pleased to report, that my plight has not gone unnoticed within the higher echelons of the junk mail world either, with offers streaming in from all quarters of the industry. As one fan put it: “They should be begging you to go, not NFI-ing you. Bastards.”
One agency chief has even offered to put me up in his suite at the Shangri-La Hotel At The Shard, too. Well, as they say, there’s no such thing as a free lunch, or “a three course meal, unlimited beer, wine and soft drinks plus all night entertainment” to be more precise. So, it seems, Busty shall go to the ball, after all.
Not that I’m bitter you understand – I am used to getting down on both knees – it’s just that I can’t help wondering who they have invited instead of me. Who could possibly give them better coverage than, as that other amazing man in my life calls it, the august, ‘industry-benchmarking and thought-leading’ publication Decision Marketing?
Just as I was getting a headache from thinking too much, up popped a “news story” (I use the term loosely) under the headline: “Ten ways to work with The Drum in 2018.” Insightful journalism? Indepth reporting? Nope, just a massive piece of puffery to try to persuade vainglorious agencies to cough up some more money to feed their own egos.
Talking of which, I was chatting to one agency boss this week when the conversation took a strange twist as I enquired what value he thought he was getting from being a member of The Drum Network. Judging by the befuddled look on his face, I might as well have asked him to explain Einstein’s Theory of Relativity. “What is that?”, he answered. So, I asked whether he realised his agency was paying thousands of pounds a year for the privilege of writing self-serving nonsense. At which point he fumed: “I have never seen an invoice for that!” Suffice to say, it transpires his PR agency have coughed up the money out of the three grand a month they get paid, just so they can claim that all their “hard” work has resulted in some “great” coverage. Sloppy.
Anyway, back to me. So there I was – a paragraph ago – in deep thought when it suddenly struck me. The trade body I am banned from naming has probably given my ticket to someone from The Drum. Indeed, it would appear that they are perfect bedfellows. Both demand your cash so you can blow smoke up your own arse.
Ho hum.

You can also follow Busty on Twitter @BustyIdol

 

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