EL James eat your heart out, here comes Busty. That’s right, dear readers, I’m taking on the queen of erotica by publishing my very own book, and just in time for the Christmas rush, too.
A stroke of genius or just vanity publishing? I’ll let you lot decide. But the powers that be on this website have decided my musings are far too good to be just read online and have decided to wrap them all up in a new novel, The World According to Busty Idol Friends, Volume One (for only £6.99 + P&P).
Of course I wanted to call it 50 Shades of Busty, but apparently there are copyright issues and the editor of this esteemed site was not willing to take on the legal might of the publishing world.
But, featuring nearly 60 columns, and 20,000 words (some of which are actually spelt correctly), it is undoubtedly the best Christmas present on the market (so I’ve been told to say) and lucky ol’ me has to sign every single one.
So whether you just want to know the origins of the Busty Bonus or who’s been doing what to whom, all you have to do is click here to order your very own copy.
Come on, you know it makes sense. I’m sure you won’t be disappointed, and if you are, I’m on a promise to make it up to you!
Each book sale is going to net me at least a quid I’m told, so I only need to sell a million copies and I won’t need a man to pamper me. I’ll be the one doing the pampering.
Depending on how it goes, there are even plans to make it into a movie, as I do have some experience in that area with Busty Does Bognor. You never know, there could even be room for other brand extensions, too. Busty’s Bondage Range anyone?
In the meantime, I’m still working on Plan B, the launch of Busty’s Direct Sales & Marketing – BDSM for short. Not that it’s going down too well in some circles. Although privately it seems everyone is up for some BDSM, in public they’ve all gone a little shy.
One client who has already got the hump is Friends of the Earth after I made an initial enquiry about the business they are reviewing. As soon as I told them the name of the agency they got rather miffed and put the phone down on me.
Mind you, it would always have been a strange match. I mean, I’m not too sure their love of the ‘au naturel’ would’ve worked. I pride myself on keeping everything neatly shaved…
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