Now I may well get into a lot of trouble for writing this week’s column but there’s been something I’ve been dying to tell you about for months and I’m afraid I just can’t keep my mouth shut any longer. I know I can rely on you lot to keep a secret, right?
Let me tell you, they’re right when they say loose lips sink ships; in this country’s hour of need tight lips are the only solution.
It all started a few months back when I was approached by a man claiming to have the ear of the top dogs in direct marketing. It seems that my powers of persuasion had been noted even at the highest level and they wanted me to go on a covert mission to Brussels and lead the fight against, would you believe, the draft EU Data Protection Regulation…
At first, I have to admit I was more than a little reluctant. I mean, I’m an expert on shopping, shoes and Busty Bonuses, but what on earth do I know about data law, let alone the machinations of the European Parliament?
Then it struck me, it was a covert mission… deep, deep undercover. Deep, deep under some of the finest duvet covers in top class Brussels hotels more like. And we all know those MEPs love a top class hotel, don’t we? They also love a top class time, with a top class woman, in a top class hotel too.
Believe me it’s been tough work – there are 736 to get through, men and women, so I’ve had to be more than a little flexible – but at last I seem to be making some progress.
The Internal Market & Consumer Protection committee were really hard going, they don’t call them internal for nothing. But come on, 900 amendments?
So next time you hear them say it was the Americans what won it… spare a thought for little ol’ Busty. But as I say, keep it under your hat.
One person who will never be shy in coming forward, however, is former Campaign editor Stefano ‘don’t ever call me Steve’ Hatfield, who is still managing to get on Brand Republic nearly a decade after leaving Haymarket.
According to a report this week, it’s a “minor miracle” that the publication he now bosses, the “i”, has managed to increase sales. Now some people might say it’s a “major miracle” he got the job in the first place; but for once my lips are sealed…
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