On the off-chance that the world hasn’t ended today, I’ve got a new rival now the svelte queen of adland has been tossed aside like a discarded Twiglet to make way for Danny ‘rogering’ Rogers at Campaign.
Not too sure who was more shocked, Claire, her staff or the hundreds of adland tossers who’ve been buttering her up for years on the off-chance of getting a couple of lines written about themselves. And what about all those Christmas gifts she’s been lavished with this year? Bet they really want to ask for them back now…
Mind you, at least all that buttering up will come in handy in her new job at Marketing when she finds herself writing a leader on the vagaries of the yellow fats sector.
One definite loser will be Martin ‘Gloat’. I know of at least one agency – we’ll call them R Kelly – which sacked their PR business to hire Propeller for its ‘closer links’ with the advertising trade rag.
And then there’s her “Beale on Advertising” column in The Independent – where her former boss, Stefano Hatfield, just so happens to ply his trade. Jobs for the girls anyone?
Do you reckon he’ll give me the column instead? Come on Stevie, everyone knows I’m the talk of agency-land these days. OK, I admit I do have my knockers (which is more than Claire can boast), but my musings would certainly carry a lot more weight, that’s for sure.
Talking of weight, my Christmas tree is now positively groaning under the bulk of presents for me to unwrap.
I’ve definitely been having it large in more ways than one this week, on account of the lovely Tarquin Farquhar – Farquhar by name, dirty Farquhar by nature – coming back into my life. It seems he missed me in my little black number. As they say, “once you’ve had Busty in black, you won’t go back”.
He’s been lavishing and ravishing me all week. And it’s a good job too; so far all I’ve had from you miserable lot is three Christmas cards, a tiny book and yet another advent calendar. Bah.
Still, I’ll forgive you – there is a recession on apparently. All that’s left now is the traditional Busty seasonal sing-song, so, with apologies to Noddy Holder, altogether now…
Well, I’m hanging up my stockings on the wall
It’s the time when Santa’s going to have a ball
He’s with a red nosed reindeer
He’ll be coming on his sleigh
We’re gonna have one hell of a day
So here it is Merry Christmas
Me and Santa having fun
Calm down will you Rudolph
I’ve only just begun
Now I’m waiting for Tarquin Farquhar to arrive,
He’s promised lots of pressies when he comes inside
Once I’ve had my way with Santa,
He’ll definitely need a rest
And Tarquin’s millions make him one of the best
So here it is Merry Christmas
Me and Santa having fun
Calm down will you Rudolph
It’s still only just begun
What will Tarquin do
When he sees me mounting Santa Claus?
Ah ah ah
Now the stockings are off the wall and round my thighs
With Tarquin and Santa in for a big surprise
The drinks are going down well
The punch is pretty ferocious
And now they’re both in line for a Busty Bonus…
So here it is Merry Christmas
Tarquin and Santa having fun
Now where are you Rudolph?
I’m gagging for a festive foursome…
It’s Chriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiistmas
Have a good one. See you next year xx
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