Busty warms her soothing hands

You know what they say; good news often comes out of bad, and just to prove the point I’m afraid my Uncle Ivan can’t make it this week.
He’s busy trying to butter up Campaign journalists to get them to cover the launch of his new agency, Idol Hands. But, with the euro crisis in full swing, he’s had to go to China to get more money – champagne, flowers, a trip to The Ivy and Christmas gifts don’t come cheap you know.
Ah, not like in the good old days when the DM reporter back then would literally drop ‘everything’ to get a story… She even allegedly boasted about her exploits, claiming she had bedded at least four people with their names above the door – and we are not talking Vonnie Alexander or Elly Woolston here, are we gents?
Anyway, with Ivan away, Busty will play, which means you’ll have to put up with my ramblings again this week. Have you missed me?
With only a few weeks to the DMA Awards I’ve got to keep my hand in, you know, and I hope you guys are going to make more of an effort at this year’s do. I have to say, last year, it was a case of the good, the bad and the ugly. The venue was good, I was ‘bad’ and then it all turned a little bit ugly… Mind you, I do like a man in a tux, so dress up guys and you could get lucky.
Like most women I also like a man in a uniform, too. In fact, the last bloke to get a Busty Bonus after Tarquin Farquar was a chief inspector of the Met I spotted on a dating site, dressed in full regalia – and boy could he use his truncheon, too. Thing is, it appears, I wasn’t the only one who spotted him online, after he was hauled before the Independent Police Complaints Commission (IPCC) amid claims of gross misconduct. According to the hearing, the officer, “was found to have used his position as a uniformed police officer to have advertised himself online in an attempt to meet sexual partners while in uniform”, and was dismissed on the spot. Sloppy…
Talking of sloppy, is it just me or has that once great bastion of marketing journalism and branding Marketing Week kind of lost its way? Ever since parent company Centaur decided to fold everything but the kitchen sink into the title it doesn’t seem to know its arse from its elbow.
These days it features Marketing Week, Digital Strategy ‘powered by New Media Age’, Data Strategy (half a page a month) ‘powered by wind’, Design Week ‘powered by solar’ and a section at the bottom of some features labelled ‘Pitch Marketing Week’. To add insult to injury, mad.co.uk has also folded, taking with it the 20-year Precision Marketing archive.
My esteemed editor, a former Centaur, er, heavyweight, is not happy I can tell you. Still, luckily for him, I’ve got just the thing to put a smile back on his face…See you at the DMAs!