“I’m so excited, And I just can’t hide it, I’m about to lose control and I think I like it. I’m so excited. And I just can’t hide it. And I know, I know, I know, I want you, I want you…”
Yep, you guessed it, fans, the dashingly handsome Chris Combemale has come up trumps and I’ve got my ticket to the ball.
Now, I realise the prospect of rubbing shoulders with the good, the bad and the downright ugly of the direct marketing world might not be everyone’s idea of a good night out, but I have to confess I love the DMA Awards.
And with a room full of fit young men, free food and plenty to drink, what’s not to like?
The good news for you fellas is that after my weekend away at Marauding Mike’s Marbella retreat I now have the entire Agent Provocateur festive range to choose from, as well as a very Christmassy pearl necklace.
He sure is a pro, on and off the golf course, and knows how to treat a lady, too. Trouble is I’m still not sure whether I will be sporting Annoushka, Molly, Gloria, Didi or Leoni with my Whip-Me stockings but my backlass Emiko number will surely be the talk of the night.
I know there will be at least one man who will appreciate all my efforts, and that is our host for the evening, Jason “manhood” Manford.
According to his write up on the Speakers Corner website, “Due to his experience on the stage, Jason is a natural in front of audiences and never fails to impress. He is an accomplished after dinner speaker and awards host and will keep guests entertained throughout the event, he is an ideal choice for corporate events.”
What it doesn’t say, however, is that Mr Manhood is also an accomplished sex texter with a penchant for us plus-size girls. But the Mail recently backed up his claim to “keep guests entertained all night”, after it reported that he had wooed one of his most recent conquests backstage and invited her for a night of fun between the sheets at a Travelodge hotel in Hull. Classy.
To be honest, a Travelodge would at least be an ugrade from where I’m being forced to stay on the night, due to my esteemed editor taking the lion’s share of the budget. EasyHotel Croydon anyone?
Mind you, our Jason also prides himself on the fact he rarely uses foul-language. But wait till he’s spent a night with his head nestled between my 38DDs, and it won’t just be his face that turns blue…
You can also follow Busty on Twitter @BustyIdol