It’s beginning to feel even more like Christmas… everywhere I go, although I must confess I’ve been coming over all Christmassy for weeks (c’mon you know the joke by now!). However, it seems there are still plenty of gloomy old sods out there who can’t stand the thought of yet another festive knees-up.
And I am not just talking about our very own misery guts, the otherwise gorgeous, witty, brainy and übersexy proprietor of Spoon Creative Ltd, Mr Jonathan Spooner Esq. or his 17 million-strong band of unmerry men who don’t like Christmas TV ads.
In fact, new research has revealed that as many as 31% of Brits – that is a whopping 21 million people – say Christmas is the most stressful time of the year, with big food shops (25%), not having enough oven space (23%) and parcels failing to show up (11%) among the top anxiety triggers.
Meanwhile, one in ten (9%) said finding wrapping paper everywhere drives them mad and 12% begrudge having to partake in their office secret Santa.
Lazy partners, finding enough chairs, teens refusing to help – and pine needles everywhere – are among the other stresses, according to the study of 2,000 UK consumers by AF Blakemore, one of the UK’s largest wholesalers for Spar stores. But it is the sheer cost of it all which takes the top spot in terms of Christmas stresses. (Wait until they see the prices in their local Spar then!)
Anyway, one in five (21%) have even gone so far as to consider cancelling Christmas because of the stress, while eight in ten (81%) say there is just too much to think about and remember, with more than half (57%) regularly suffering from Christmas brain fog as a result.
The research also found that, on average, Brits experience 250 stressful moments in the build-up to Christmas, with this Sunday, December 14 at 4pm, predicted to be the most stressful point. Regionally Norwich (90%), Newcastle (81%), Birmingham (80%) and Swansea (80%) are the capitals of Christmas stress.
YOU PEOPLE, THIS COUNTRY!
Still, I guess there’s always 2026…
Talking of which, this being Friday the 12th, I am signing off for the year – well, it is going to take me a couple of weeks to get back to the “olds” in Bolton. Have you ever been on the Megabus?
But, before I go, there is the small matter of the annual Foxy Christmas sing-a-long, of course. So, with apologies to Mariah Carey – yet again – all together now…
I don’t want a lot for Christmas
But there are things I still need
To make sure there are loads of presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want bread, wine and cheese
I’ll even get down on my knees
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is Trou du Cru, yeah
I don’t want a lot for Christmas
But there are things I still need
To make sure there are loads of presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I’ll even put on my stockings
And pose near the fireplace (Ah)
Santa Claus might make me happy
With a big Rioja on Christmas Day
I just want bread, wine and cheese
I’ll even get down on my knees
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is Danish Blue, yeah
Oh, I won’t ask for much this Christmas
I won’t even wish for snow (And I)
I’m just gonna keep on waiting
For Baron Bigod don’t you know
I won’t make a list and send it
To the North Pole for you
Because you should know by now
I love Roquefort way more than you
I just want bread, wine and cheese
I’ll even get down on my knees
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is Trou du Cru, yeah
Oh, all the lights are shining so brightly everywhere (So brightly, baby)
And the sound of chinking glasses fills the air (Oh, oh)
And everyone is scoffing (Oh yeah)
I hear those bottles a-popping (Oh)
Santa, won’t you bring me what I really need? (Yeah, oh)
Won’t you please bring me bread, wine and cheese? (Oh)
Oh, I don’t want a lot for Christmas
This is all I’m asking for (Ah)
A lovely big bottle of Merlot
Standing right outside my door
I just want bread, wine and cheese
I’ll even get down on my knees
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is Danish Blue, yeah
Blue, baby
All I want for Christmas is Trou du Cru, yeah (Blue)
All I want for Christmas is Danish Blue, yeah, baby (Ah, oh, ah, oh)
All I want for Christmas is Trou du Cru, baby (You)
All I want for Christmas is you, Danish Blue (All I want, all I really want is, oh woah)
And I like my cheese drippy, bruh (All I want, all I really want is)
Have a good one. See you next year xx
Foxy has ditched X but is still on Instagram, just don’t get too excited as she’s never there
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