COI chief and the bacon sarnie

As everyone knows, Lambeth can be a very dangerous place. None more so than if you work at the COI offices on Hercules Road, where over the past few months there have been plenty of people doing the Lambeth Walk out of the building.
The walls of the once mighty marketing powerhouse have come crashing down as the Coalition has driven a bulldozer straight through government ad-spend. It must’ve been a pretty miserable time, especially for DM chief Marc Michaels, who has been at the organisation man and boy.
But, according to sources close to the situation, Marc – a strict follower of the Jewish faith – has turned to bacon in his quest to save his department. That’s right folks, apparently one day in the middle of delicate negotiations Marc proffered a bacon sarnie to Minister Francis Maude, and he’s been all sweetness and light ever since. You never know, Marc, the COI might even have enough money to run a few campaigns soon.
One man who’s definitely got enough money this week is Marc Nohr, having just banked his share of a nice big cheque from Publicis Groupe. Now, I was going to have a right pop at old Nohr – after all, I’ve got plenty of ammunition from all the people he’s pissed off in this industry who’ve been emailing me no end of dirt – but I just remembered he’s a Krav Maga instructor. A what, you may ask? Well, put it this way, according to Wikipedia, Krav Maga is “a hand-to-hand combat system developed in Israel that involves striking techniques, wrestling and grappling, mostly known for its extremely efficient and brutal counter-attacks, and is taught to regular and special forces in Israel and the US, most notably Mossad and the FBI”.
Hmmm, you see, I quite like being able to walk, and am not really keen on being subjected to a “brutal counter-attack” either, so my lips are sealed. Mind you, feel free to post your own comments below…
Finally, dear readers, seeing Nohr & Co and the team at Chemistry laughing all the way to the bank, I had to shed a tear for Rapier chief Jonathan Stead. Not that long ago, he was presiding over a highly successful agency which could number both £50m Lloyds TSB and £40m Virgin Media as clients. The big groups were banging down the door to get a slice of that but Jonathan ignored their overtures.
These days, I wonder if he regrets moving into those brand spanking new offices at (would you believe) Battleship Buildings. Not that we would ever insinuate that Rapier was sinking like a ship but when you have a minute, click here to see pictures of the party to open the offices. The phrase, I think is “a cozy gathering”…
Shit, me and my big gob – I hope Jonathan’s not a Krav Maga instructor, too.

(Got anything you’re dying to get off your chest? Email me, discretion guaranteed! ivan.idol@hotmail.co.uk)

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