They say that all good things must come to an end eventually, and so it is with great sadness dear Foxy fans that I have to report that today is the last day of…Masturbation Month. But fear not, we’re gonna give it one last spurt for good measure.
Now, so far I must admit I have been “poking fun” at the tossers of adland. Well, it’s hard to resist as they are such easy targets. This week, however, is dedicated to the sisterhood. So, “give yourself a hand” girls, we’re going for a G-spot of “vajubilation”.
And who, you may ask, has inspired this new sense of self-love? Why none other than down under journalist Nadia Bokody, who is the global editor of SheSaid, a website which aims to “inform, inspire and empower women”.
According to the blurb: “Established in 1999, the site is dedicated to telling it how it is, sharing real women’s stories about the issues that really matter to them. We know women, because we are women.” Go on, you know you want to have a read…it’s far more interesting than the tedious marketing press.
Anyway, it transpires that our “Nads” likes nothing more than a daily ‘masturbation break’ in the office loos to de-stress. And I quote: “If it’s lunch time, I’ll head home for a quick dalliance with my vibrator (perks of living walking distance from the office).
“But on the odd occasion I can’t wait that long, I’ll pop into the restroom, throw in my headphones, and silently surf some RedTube until my stresses are eased. Fifteen minutes later, I’ll re-emerge brighter and more focused, ready to tackle whatever the rest of the day throws at me. And it’s not just because I love masturbation.”
Give her her due, though, she’s done her research, and cites various studies, including one published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine, which suggests orgasms are better for the brain than mental exercises like Sudoku and crossword puzzles. And, let’s face it, a lot more fun.
Nadia added: “This is because, during a climax, blood flow is boosted to every single part of the brain, whereas mental exercises only stimulate certain regions.
“In other words, if your employer wants to beat the 3pm workplace productivity slump once and for all, they should seriously consider implementing a fap break policy.”
Mind you, for those of you with pervy male bosses (are there any other sort?), be careful how you ask. Massage at Work Week starts on Monday so try not to fall into the “quid pro quo” trap…