“Our father, who art in Moscow, Southgate be thy name. The cup will come, Kane’s work will be done, in Moscow as it is in Tottenham. Take this day our daily penalty. And forgive Vardy’s offside trespasses, as we forgive those who bet against us. And lead us not into under-achievement. But deliver us the title. For football’s coming home. This history and the glory. Forever and ever. Amen.”
Yep, you guessed it. Roxy and I have been bitten right on the arse by the footie bug, despite our best intentions to have nothing to do with the England team. In fact, we didn’t even watch the first two games, for fear of this happening.
We know it’s all going to end in tears at some stage. It always does, doesn’t it? But girls can dream can’t they?
Of course, no doubt all you blokes will just be thinking we’re silly woman, what could we possibly know? Well, we’re Bolton girls, we know pain when we feel it.
Mind you, Roxy and I were discussing the formation yesterday and we reckon that Southgate should ditch the 3-3-1-3; Trippier and Young may have had good domestic seasons, but with their defensive frailties Sweden will batter us.
We believe Gareth should go for 4-4-2 with Walker and Rose on either wing to make the team balanced defensively; they are excellent going forward too.
Dier and Henderson ensure midfield stability and both have the ability to find the right pass. Two defensive central midfielders also means that Stones can play out with the ball.
Sterling won’t like it, but hey, he’s hardly had an outstanding tournament. And that tattoo, what the hell is that all about? He must be the only man with a gun on his leg who can’t shoot.
Anyway, if we despatch the Swedes, the chances are we’ll come up against Croatia. Now, according to the latest Pornhub Insights Blog, Croats are some of the biggest users of porn in the world per population, which is a worry. Their biceps will be huge, and they’ll be fending off our boys as if they were seven-stone weaklings.
Ah well, we’ll just have to cross that bridge when we come to it. In the meantime…C’MON ENGLAND!!
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