Bonjour, bonjour mes très chers lecteurs et gros bisous de DM Girls’ Getaway (Foxy’s French Adventure) 2.0 de retour sur la Côte d’Azur.
Yes, as we enter the second half of our amazing break, Jean-Claude has decided to take us back to the French Riviera (well, he’s the boss, he can take all four of us wherever and whenever he wants).
We reckon he had noticed that we weren’t quite as relaxed since the arrival of the old soak (that’s the esteemed editor of this august online empire to you lot), even though, as I wrote last week, he is not staying in his own 1,000-year-old wreck; he has booked a nearby posh gîte, complete with swimming pool, country views and vineyard.
Still, as promised, J-C has been giving us a tour of the local marketing agencies so we can claim this back as a business trip.
So far, we have been to PlayADV Srl, HappyMoov, Opti’Eyes Marketing, and Skakebiz. Not that we have actually entered their offices, you understand, but J-C has driven us past, slowly. As you might realise, the French are not big on having their names above the doors; I guess that’s a British and American thing. Big egos, small penises.
Talking of which, J-C has also been giving us a history lesson about the statue that lies in Place Massena, in the very heart of Nice, and a large fountain called the “Fontaine du Soleil”. There are five bronze sculptures in the basin and in the centre stands an impressive marble Apollo, who is 23 feet tall and weighs in at 7 tons.
But when the Sun Fountain was unveiled in 1956, the Niçois were less than impressed. According to mythology, Apollo’s role is to carry the sun across the sky every day and he usually does this in his chariot pulled by four horses. But this Apollo didn’t have a chariot and the four horses were on top of his head, forming a sort of crown.
The Niçois claimed that he looked like an advertisement – you see, this is “relevant” to marketing, after all – for the most popular automobile at the time, the Renault 4CV, known as the “four horsepower”. So the magnificent Greek deity was saddled with the nickname “the four horsepower statue”.
But there was a bigger, in fact, far bigger problem when it came to his “manhood”, which some residents thought was too large, a BWC apparently.
In an effort to calm the controversy, the sculptor took a hammer and chisel to his creation to reduce the size of the offending part but took too much off, “four horsepower” became “the virgin”. A micropenis if you please.
And therein lies a lesson for all you fellas… as John Bobbitt found out to his cost, a big swinging dick can easily be cut down to size.
Passe un bon week-end…
Foxy has ditched X but is still on Instagram, just don’t get too excited as I’m never there
