Foxy misses out as UK cheating hotspots are exposed

So, how’s the new year, new you, Veganuary and Dry January going? Personally, I never bother, I like me just the way I am and I know all you do, too.

Still, it seems not everyone is happy with their lot. In fact, it seems the entire country is looking to shake it up, but mostly in the bedroom, according to yes, you guessed it, our old friends at IllicitEncounters who have just released the results of their annual Infidelity Index. It’s a bit like the Consumer Prices Index, only more messy.

And, drum roll, the prestigious town of Ascot has been named the UK’s most unfaithful location, with 6.72% of the town’s population actively seeking some extra-marital action.

The annual index identifies a clear trend among the UK’s “cheating hotspots”, with affluent commuter towns dominating the top of the table.

“Experts” apparently suggest that the combination of high-flying careers, the pressure of long-distance commutes, and significant professional stress creates a “perfect storm” for marital indiscretion, with many residents using affairs as a form of escapism. Does that sound familiar, adland?

Anyway, following closely behind Ascot is Wilmslow in Cheshire, where 6.23% of residents are registered on the site. The Scottish Highlands town of Alness takes the third spot at 6.01%, followed by the Cornish coastal town of Fowey (5.69%) and the historic market town of Ludlow (5.51%) in Shropshire.

The top ten is rounded out by Framlingham (5.46%), the Surrey powerhouse of Weybridge (5.45%), Warwick (5.33%), Caerphilly (5.28%), and Motherwell (5.11%) bringing up the rear.

In stark contrast, the data also highlights the UK’s most “faithful” locations. Clacton-on-Sea in Essex holds the title of the most loyal town in the country, with a mere 0.31% of its population engaging in extramarital activity. It is not known whether local MP Nigel Farage is one of them but anyone who thinks he’s fit should be locked up and deported to Rwanda immediately.

Meanwhile, Essex neighbour Harlow follows at 0.42%, with Hartlepool recording 0.49%. Other towns where residents are seemingly more committed to their vows include Alloa, Wigan, and Washington, all recording rates below 0.60%.

The seaside destinations of Bournemouth and Paignton also featured in the bottom ten, suggesting that life by the coast may correlate with lower rates of digital infidelity.

But don’t just take my word for it, you can look up your own postcode, too. To be fair, I can only find figures for 2023, but according to the Index, there are over 20,000 people seeking an affair in my postcode alone. Sadly, it seems they are all either lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or queer.

Oh well, that’s the joy of Brighton for you; onwards and upwards.

Foxy has ditched X but is still on Instagram,  just don’t get too excited as she’s never there