“Roll up, roll up for the Mystery Tour, Roll up, roll up for the Mystery Tour…The Magical Mystery Tour Is waiting to take you away, Waiting to take you away…”
Yep, the Decision Marketing Bus Tour of Britain is continuing on its merry way, although there has not been much mystery this week on account of two blow-outs, a leaking gasket, and a rusty shaft. The local delicacy of Cromer Crab certainly has a lot to answer for.
Still, after battering Slutshole Lane for a few days, my esteemed bosses decided our tour of Norfolk should head up to the charming hamlet of Little Snoring, just north of Lord “Turnip” Townshend’s Raynham Estate – yes, the one owned by the elder brother of one of our industry’s finest creative directors, poor luv.
To be fair, Huge Snoring might be more fitting, as, once the team had had a skinful of local ales, there were more death rattles in the bus than in the local nursing home.
At one point it was so loud that I decided to distract myself by checking my work emails – someone’s got to keep all you lot up to date with the glorious world of data-driven marketing – when up popped a new opportunity.
You see, apparently, many magazines are now regularly asking PRs for payment in exchange for news coverage. Sometimes the cost is described as “admin” or “printing” fees, but usually they are described as payments to ensure that content is covered.
We’re not talking a pittance here, either, with some charging up to £500 a pop… I don’t think even Creative Salon and The Drum Network have thought of that – YET.
Still, I wonder whether I could start charging for individuals not to appear in this column? For a grand a man (as they are nearly always men), I could promise never mention you again Marc, Steve, Gideon, Steve, Gordon, Steve, Russell, Steve, Nick, Steve, Clive, Steve, and John.
Mind you, if you believe that, you are even more gullible than those who have already signed up to Creative Salon and The Drum Network… I would rather be poor and nasty.
“Roll up, roll up for the Mystery Tour, Roll up, roll up for the Mystery Tour…The Magical Mystery Tour Is waiting to take you away, Waiting to take you away…”
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