You know, it’s not easy being me. Of course you know, because I never tire of telling you; whether you’re listening is another matter. Anyway, as I pointed out last week, with my esteemed bosses being pioneers in the “lying-flat” movement, us DM Girls rarely get a breather, and this week has been no exception.
You see, not only are we beavering away on this august organ but there is the small matter of keeping a limited company – yes, McContent & Design (remember them?) – afloat. And when they say a limited company exists and operates independently to the owners of the business, they aren’t kidding.
Still, as head of new business and marketing, guess who gets to trawl the world for, well, new business and marketing opportunities? After all, I can’t bask in the gushing praise for our work on the Vagina Museum forever; I need to keep feeding the sales funnel – or love tunnel as I prefer to call it.
Luckily, help is at hand in my UK Directory of Trade Associations, an impressive tome, and with 8,000 to choose from I thought I could soon be cleaning up.
Obviously, some are having a bit of a rough time of it, so are perhaps best left alone. I mean, as much as I would love to help the British Cucumber Growers’ Association and the British Tomato Growers’ Association, I fear they won’t have enough money to pay us, what with the perfect storm of Brexit labour shortages, soaring gas prices and the dearth of lorry drivers.
But nestled in between them in my directory is the British Parking Association. And, with our local NCP charging £2 for every 10 minutes, I figure this lot must be rolling in it. Now, I’m no expert in parking – I was born to be driven, you know – but how hard could it be bashing out content for this lot?
A quick Google search later and would you believe it, there is even an industry event today.
Created and presented by Parking Review magazine, the “British Parking Awards recognise the leading examples of car park management, enforcement, design and team work”. According to the blurb, “It’s the greatest show in parking!” (How many parking award shows are there, I wonder?)
Well, I was all set for a trip to the Royal Lancaster to watch Marcus “what do you mean I’m desperate?” Brigstocke until I had to get my ticket signed off… Sadly, at £275 + VAT a pop, I won’t be able to attend, so no schmoozing among the great and the good of the parking world celebrating such gems as “The Outstanding Car Park Award”, “The Back Office Award” and, my personal favourite, “The Intelligent Parking Award”.
Ah well, back to the drawing board; there’s still 7,996 more trade bodies to go…