So, now we’re in November, let the countdown to Christmas begin in earnest (lucky old Earnest) as marketers the world over attempt to get us to part with our hard-earned cash to bring festive joy to our loved ones.
Yep, over at Aldi, they are no doubt prepping the latest tedious instalment of Kevin the Carrot, while the Coca-Cola team will be lining up the equally mind-numbingly dull “Holidays are coming” convoy, YET AGAIN.
However, I might just have stumbled upon the only sure-fire way that marketers can increase sales during this challenging festive season, and it’s all down to the UK’s love of cheating.
Yep, you guessed it, we’re back in bed with everyone’s favourite love-rat website, Illicitencouters.com, which has exposed the fact that three quarters of those who have signed up admit to spending way more on their lover’s Christmas present than on their partner’s.
The statistics reveal that an average of nearly £200 is spunked on their affair, compared to £115 spent on their spouse’s gift.
And, when probed as to what their chosen gift was, rather predictably, the majority admitted to picking something ‘sexy’ or ‘thoughtful’, while their wives and husbands were not so lucky – most confessing to buying something ‘practical’ or ‘useful for the home’.
Spokesperson for Illicit Encounters Ava Cooper said: “The difference in the sort of gifts people choose to buy for their affair and partners mirror the different ways married people often view these two relationships.
“Lovers often see their bit on the side as playing more ‘surface’, decorative roles in their lives, providing sex and affection without much emotional attachment.
“On the other hand, relationships with spouses, after time, become less about being exciting and more about being practical – the bigger issues of mortgages and maintenance overtake the seemingly less important things like romance.”
The Christmas season, despite traditionally being a time for family, is when infidelity is rife, apparently, with over half of members questioned admitting to spending an ‘illicit Christmas Day’ with their lover – most saying the last Friday in December is the day they choose to spend together.
So, there you have it marketers, Foxy’s big tip for a rock hard Christmas is: Get your sticky mitts on the Illicitencounters database and you could be in for big, bouncy and bulging profits.
Follow Foxy on X and Instagram if you must, but don’t get too excited as I’m never there
