So, having avoided a libel battle with the Right Honourable Halfwit – guess it must all be true then, unless for some bizarre reason the itsy-bitsy billionaire hasn’t read my musings – this week, I can return to normal, so let’s get back to food and sex.
And what could be more fitting than a new study which has spurted out of Israel about the changes in human behaviour triggered by, yes, you guessed it, Covid-19, which has apparently, has turned things on their head.
You see, as we all know, in stressful situations, men turn to porn and booze and women reach for the CHOCOLATE. It’s not just stereotyping, it’s scientific fact, according to the researchers, although I guess I must be stressed out of my box all of the time as I can chow down on choccy from dawn until dusk.
But it seems that men are now also turning to chocolates, while still indulging in alcohol and porn (of course) and us girls are turning to pornography and alcohol, while still eating CHOCOLATE (ditto).
Now, while this is all very well for PornHub, Xhamster, Cadbury, Nestlé and Hershey, it has meant that I’ve had to stockpile like mad for fear of running out of bars of Galaxy, Crunchie, KitKat, Yorkie, Mars, Bounty, Twix, Snickers, Dairy Milk, Twirl, Time Out, Toffee Crisp and my own personal favourite, Baby Ruth; many of which can double up for other more adult pursuits.
Anyway, don’t blame me, blame the researchers at the Ben-Gurion University of the Negev (BGU) and Yeshiva University. According to Dr Enav Friedmann, head of the BGU Marketing Lab at the Guilford Glazer Faculty of Business and Management: “Countless studies show that in highly stressful times, men typically consume more alcohol and pornography, while women turned to sweets for their bingeing.
“The pandemic has upended these assumptions as our research debunks the commonly accepted perceptions of various stereotypical behaviours. Under pressure, we are more alike.”
Talking of being under pressure, good news at last from the girls at the Vault of the Vayjayjay, with the welcome news that the Vagina Museum is only inches away from securing its fundraising target to keep the bricks and mortar home of the vulva open.
At the most recent count, the public’s sterling efforts have raised £24,286.94 towards the target of £25,000 which the Vayjayjay girls need to keep the place going until it can pull back the curtains once more.
So, come on sisters, as the fundraising page reports: “In just 18 weeks, this little museum saw over 110,000 visitors, with an ovary-whelmingly positive reception. The world needs a Vagina Museum. We’ve proved that.”
Sadly I can’t help any more as I’ve spunked my cash on Mars bars. Mind you, I’m sure the Vayjayjay sisters would still approve of my choice of stress-relief…