Ever get the feeling you’re the only fatty left in the world? I blame Adele. Her new skinny minnie figure seems to have sent everyone into a dust-eating frenzy. Have you seen what’s happened to “Fat Robbie”, “Balloon Barlow” and that big fella from Corrie? My god, even Jezza Lee is on a fitness kick…
The timing is hardly ideal, either. I’ve got 30 pints of “Foxy Over A Barrel” to get through quick, as we need the bottles for the next batch and I’m already on a par with Jimmy “Five Bellies” Gardner.
Still, it is Bank Holiday weekend, so maybe I’ll start my diet next week, the week after that I might go for a stroll, the week after that I might even break into a jog.
Talking of running, did you know that the virtual Campaign Sprintathon kicks off this weekend but instead of running your arse off all you have to do now is pass a bottle of water around? I reckon even I could do that…
Apparently to be in with a chance of securing the Guinness World Records’ title of “Largest online video chain passing a water bottle”, they need at least 250 people to take part.
Mind you, the rules of entry are pretty draconian: the video must start with the water bottle out of shot and finish with the bottle out of shot; the bottle must start and end at shoulder height in order to continue the sequence; the bottle must be passed from your right hand to your left hand; the video must be filmed in landscape; the video must be a minimum of five seconds long; one person per video; the video file, your full name and company must be sent to Sprintathon@cancer.org.uk; the video must be sent between 22 May and 1 June.
But if, like us, you prefer your weekends a little bit more relaxing, you can always sign up to the Foxy Idol Drinkathon. Basically, it is a bit like a sprintathon, only instead of running or passing water bottles, you have to chug a litre of beer in less than 1.3 seconds.
Of course, we haven’t got a hope in hell of beating the record, but it could be a lorra, lorra fun trying…
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