Green-eyed Foxy splattered by right Royle lady crush

foxy 414So, how’s the WFH going (week three)? I must admit, I’m getting a bit bored of all these people in the Decision Marketing Nerve Centre, which doubles as McKelvey’s house. I mean, it’s all very well, but when the hell am I supposed to take advantage of the Pornhub Premium freebie when I am surrounded by this lot?

In fact, I’m actually thinking of feigning Covid-19 symptoms so that I can get in some self-isolation self-love “me time”. So many free videos; so little time.

Now, you may not have noticed from my musings, but I’ve never really considered myself to be the jealous type: full of spunk, yep (although the chance would be a fine thing as Desperate Dan’s been forced to go home); resentful and covetous, never.

But this week I’ve found myself coming over all green-eyed monster (chance would be a fine thing, again) when I watched the second instalment of Campaign magazine’s fascinating WFH series: “Behind the scenes: Campaign’s social media editor Orianna Rose Royle in self-isolation.”

Now, I’m not too sure how many Campaign readers have watched it; no doubt most are too busy looking at themselves in the mirror to worry about who actually writes that shit about them. However, I found myself being just a tiny bit envious of Orianna’s partner Aaron (sadly not in shot) and her equally invisible but imaginary colleague “Karen”, whom she blames for all her cock-ups.

That’s right, Foxy fans, I’ve only gone and been splattered with a lady crush.

It’s nothing to do with her nice flat, complete with breakfast bar (although that wouldn’t go amiss), or the fact that she is fit (although that’s true, too). No, it’s her endearing honesty at being stuck in a flat with her fella. And I quote: “When you’re working day in, day out with your partner, who then also becomes your co-chef, your work colleague, the kind of person you are talking to every day, it’s just nice to have that separation.”

My god, I get where you’re coming from sister, you want to try doing all that with your two bosses and their wayward families.

SOMEONE GET ME OUTTA HERE!

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