“Dance, dance, dance, dance, Keep on dancin’, Dance, dance, dance, dance, We’re just dancin’ to the beat, feel the heat, I’m movin’ my feet, Headed towards the floor, gonna get down, A get down some more…”
Banging tunes, banging walls, and a banging headache – welcome to our esteemed editor’s 60th birthday week, otherwise known as the MASSIVE CHARLIE BENDER.
Not that he’s been involved much to be honest, he’s been tucked up most of the week, celebrating the fact that he’s still alive with his new pipe and slippers listening to The Clash or whatever the oldies enjoy these days.
The rest of the gang – that’s Roly-poly Roxy, Ponderous Peggy, Mega Meggy and, yours truly, Chockablock Foxy – have been partying like it’s 1999, when we were all still at school and a lot thinner, obviously.
As you can imagine, the neighbours weren’t too chuffed to begin with, although their banging was soon drowned out by turning up the tunes. However, in the spirit of neighbourly love, once we’d dished out the contents of the Decision Marketing Microbrewery everyone seemed much happier.
So far, we’ve given away the 30 bottles of Young’s Wine Buddy Merlot, 30 bottles of Solomon Grundy Rosé, 36 pints of Muntons Hand Crafted Belgian Ale, 40 pints of Muntons Gold Continental Pilsner, 40 pints of Festival Oaked Apple Cider and 36 pints of St Peter’s Ruby Red Ale and the new batch of Foxy Over A Barrel!
The thing is, old McKelvey’s reputation has spread so far and wide – a bit like his waistline – that we’ve been inundated with booze deliveries since last week, so we haven’t exactly gone short.
Having kicked off the party with a marvellous curry from Abdul’s Indian Cottage Tandoori, now we’re all eating humble pie.
That’s the amazing pies from Sussex firm Humblepie.co.uk, of course, who have restarted their delivery service. So, whether you’re after Steak & Ale; Pork, Chorizo & Caper; Chicken, Ham Hock, Leek & Aged Cheddar; Pulled Pork, Cider & Black Pudding or even the vegan Butternut, Pinenut & Red Pepper, they’ve got it covered.
Suffice to say, we’ve been having it large. Mind you, we’ve got to keep on dancing, otherwise we’ll be piling on even more pounds. Take it away Sisters…
“Yowsah, yowsah, yowsah…Dance, dance, dance, dance, Keep on, keep on, Dance, dance, dance, dance, Keep on dancing…”