I mean, it’s all very well being me (as regular readers will know, here at Decision Marketing we’re crucial to the war effort as “public service journalists”), it’s just that I quite fancy being someone else for a change.
Now, if Campaign‘s Jezza Lee is to be believed, he was planning to use the lockdown to explore creative channels or forms of self-improvement that were otherwise elusive. And I quote: “Like many, I thought that I’d read more or write poetry or learn how to play the panpipes.” Such a sweet, sensitive soul.
To be honest, I’d just like a few days off from writing about direct marketing, or whatever it’s called these days. Here at the Decision Marketing Nerve Centre we seem to talk about little else.
That was until this week.
Now, I’m not too sure what triggered it, but my esteemed boss has suddenly started talking about Plan B (and I am not talking about that thicko rapper turned soul-boy either).
Then again, if Covid-19 can kill off the 180-year-old Jewish Chronicle, what hope is there for our esteemed online publication which is just approaching its tenth birthday?
The only problem with McKelvey’s Plan B is that it’s going to get messy – quite literally – as I’ve been briefed to launch a new craft ale (and if you think that’s fanciful, The Drum have just opened up a tea shop!).
So, this week, dear Foxy fans, I’ve been mostly knee-deep in the joys of mashing (soaking the grains to extract all the fermentable sugars); sparging (separating the grains from the sugary liquids to make the wort); boiling (heating up the wort with the hops to extract more flavours); cooling (so that all the sediment can be left behind) and finally fermenting (adding the yeast to the wort to produce the ALCOHOL and carbon dioxide).
Of course, if I told you the recipe I would have to kill you, and then who would read this nonsense – or buy the beer for that matter?
Suffice to say, learning the panpipes would have been a much easier option but no-one said life was easy. Anyway, now I’ve done the hard work – for a change – all I have to do is sit back and marvel as the first batch ferments away nicely. So, forget Trashy Blonde or Dead Pony Club, who’s going to be the first to sample Foxy Over A Barrel?