Well, it’s fair to say we left no stone unturned – or prosecco bottle unopened – in our first Decision Marketing Girls’ Weekend Away of the summer down in the West Country; we bathed in Bath and got our bristols out in Bristol but even we drew the line at climbing aboard Brown Willy.
Anyway, naturally we put the world to rights – just keep your heads down fellas (literally) – and the McKelvey sisters, Roxy, and Peggy and Meggy from Skeggy and I also shopped for Britain. Well, someone’s got to keep the economy going…
Anyway, there we were in M&S when Roxy came up with some great marketing insight, courtesy of leading extra-marital dating site IllicitEncounters.com, which the retailer’s chief digital and data officer Jeremy Pee could do with having a decent gawp at.
You see, according to a survey of 800 of the site’s female members, the vast majority (37%) buy their sexy lingerie from Marks & Sparks, with Ann Summers next (23%), then Victoria’s Secret (18%), Agent Provocateur (7%) and Boux Avenue (6%) bringing up the rear. Even so, only 11% buy it to wear for their husbands, with an enormous 73% buying lingerie to impress their bit on the side.
And, digging a little deeper, apparently over half (52%) of female cheaters have a bra size between AA and C cups – making women with smaller breasts more likely to stray compared to us bigger busted girls.
The number one cup size of an adulterer is a B cup; some 27% claim to be a size B, with 32B being the most popular.
IllicitEncounters.com sex and relationships expert Jessica Leoni said: “32B or not a B? That is the question! Turns out a small bust size can get you busted, whereas knockers won’t get you nicked!
“Of course, affair-seekers aren’t getting sexy for their husbands. Women all over are reclaiming their sexual prowess by getting dressed up for their lovers.
“Why do cheats shop for lingerie at Marks & Sparks? It’s pretty obvious isn’t it? A woman juggling a household and a lover simply doesn’t have the time to shop around. Kill two birds with one stone by doing food and lingerie shopping at the same time. It’s also a great way to not raise any questions from suspecting husbands!”
So, there you have it, Jezza Pee, if you really want to return M&S to its former glory, forget the multi-million pound digital transformation programme, just make sure the food and lingerie aisles are right next door to each other…
You can now follow Foxy on Twitter and Instagram (although don’t expect too much)